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I felt out of control.
I've never really been a control freak but right now I felt out of control. I think one of the worst feelings has to be not being able to do anything but watch someone you love suffer.
And that is how I've been feeling for the last two week. My heart feels like it's getting stabbed every single night. Every single night I lay down and just when I'm almost asleep I'm woken up with the quiet cries of my love. His tears against my skin as he gently pulls me closer to him.
Every single night I stay frozen, pretending to be asleep. I stay completely motionless, letting him hold me until he cries himself to sleep. I stay frozen because I know he wouldn't want me to turn around and comfort him.
And I know exactly why. It's because he feels guilty. He feels guilty about what his father did to me. So guilty that he's barely looked me in the eye this week. But he's done the best he can. He even moved us to a whole new apartment in an attempt to not have anything trigger me.
This time it's different though. I'm almost asleep when I wake up to deep coughs and pants for air. I stay motionless for a moment before I turn around on the bed, my eyes settling on the empty spot next to me.
I ponder for a minute, contemplating whether he would even want me there, weather he'd be okay with me seeing him in that state.
Then I get up because I decide it doesn't matter. No matter how much he thinks of this as his battle to fight alone, I can't let him. I can't let him go to through this by himself.
I push the bathroom door open, my eyes falling on his tired figure as he crouches down in front of the toilet, coughing up blood.
Noticing my presences, he turns his head away from me, hiding his bleeding mouth with a towel. He continuous to cough, his chest moving faster as if he's struggling to pull air in.
"It's okay, let it out." I push his hair back, rubbing his back with my other hand.
He wipes his mouth then, surprisingly, instead of pushing away from me he lays back against me, his head falling onto my chest.
"Call Callan."
What? Why? It's the middle of the night.
The next thing I know, his weight is dropped onto my arms, his body going limp.
What?
"Gio?" My brows pull in as I slightly shake his body. "Alessio?!" I cup his face, pushing his hair back. "Alessio, oh my god, wake up."
His eyes are shut, his body limp and he's completely unresponsive to my voice.
"Baby? Baby, oh my god," My heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest. I quickly pick up his phone from the bathroom counter, holding his unconscious body close to me as I call Callan.
