The Cuckoo's Cage

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Anna sat with her knees pulled to her chest, taking a long drag on her cigarette as Keller stroked her hair. She felt like his pet; she supposed she was. He was watching her, enjoying how warm her skin was under his palm as it began to trace her back.

Elli had been beside herself when Anna had returned to their hut the next morning. She was convinced that Keller had finally snapped and killed her. Anna tried to explain what had happened, the smell of soap and freshly laundered clothes very apparent. Neither he nor Anna had slept much through that night. They chose to ignore what had happened, lying beside one another without a word passing between them.

Over the following week, he had come to fetch her a few more times. They always went to his room now. They drank, played cards, slept and ate together. The sex was always intimate, though Keller would never admit it. Anna was still worried about falling pregnant. He had only chanced it that one time, but it only took once. She would be so grateful to see her period again, but it wasn't due for another two weeks or so. All she could do now, was wait. Anna had hoped to catch Freddie on her way to and from the room. She hadn't seen him at all. It was so disheartening.

"Shall we talk about Lange and Von Hart now?" he asked finally, cutting through the silence. She tensed up. It had been over two weeks since she had found out, and he could see how heavily it weighed on her soul. She had been so quiet since then. She put up no objection to anything he asked of her. She didn't seem to feel anything when they were together.

"If you want to," she mumbled throatily. She knew there was no point in saying no. He'd only think of some new, inventive way to mock her.

"Were you hoping they'd get you out of here? Come to your rescue?" he asked. Anna just nodded. "That was foolish of you."

"I know," she murmured.

"You'll never leave here," he said, probing for a reaction.

She looked at him, her eyes piercing his. "I've been without them for many months now, and I've survived just fine," she reminded him, stubbing out her cigarette on the wall and letting it fall down the side of the bed, just as Keller always did. "I'll endure whatever I need to."

"It always amazes me how you mean that," he said, shifting closer to her. "So many people say it, but there's no conviction to it. But I believe you will do anything to keep that brat alive."

"As you once said, I'm spirited," she said.

He smiled, content just to watch her for a moment. Then his hand moved to her necklace. "This is Lange's, isn't it?"

"Yes," she mumbled. "I was going to return it to him, but now I don't know what to do with it."

His eyes widened. "Return it?" he said curiously. She held his gaze, her breathing still calm. "I thought you'd welcome him back with open arms."

"Love is complicated," she sighed. "Loving him doesn't erase the fact that he abandoned me and especially my sister."

"So that's why he left?" he asked.

"He lied to me and told me Elli had died," she said. "Then when I asked him to stay and make it right, he left. He told me it's because I chose her over him. But if it was me in his position, I wouldn't have posed the choice."

"Then get rid of it," suggested Keller, going to pull it off her but she stopped him, her hand gripping his. "You still love him, then?"

"I always will," she whispered. "But it doesn't change anything. I don't know that I could be with him if he had lived, and his death just means I'll never know for sure." He saw a flicker of something on her face, her demeanour hinting at something deep and painful.