The Cuckoo's Cage

Chapter Eleven

Anna stood in silence, her hand gripping the telephone tightly. She felt a lump in her throat, a deep wave of hurt crashing down on her.

"Hello?" he said again. She tried to get the words out but couldn't. "Hello?" he said impatiently. She could hear him go to put the receiver down.

"Wait!" she said quickly. He didn't hang up, but there was a deathly silence.

"Anna?" he said quietly. Another pause.

"Hello Hans," she mumbled.

"Anna... My God. If I'd known it was you..."

"Is Karl there?" she cut in. She had to remain strong.

"No, he's out."

"Thank you," she replied quickly, about to replace the receiver.

"Anna please don't hang up," he begged. She already had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Why?" she asked curtly. She was so confused. She hated him. She was so hurt and angry that all she wanted to do was scream at him. But his voice sounded so good. She'd wanted to hear it for so long. Her stomach felt strange... as though something was bubbling up inside and bursting.

"I..." he began searching for the right words. "I'm so sorry, Anna. For what I did." A pause.

"Okay," she said. "Is that all?"

"No. Of course it isn't," he insisted. "I know I should have telephoned you. It's been hell not hearing your voice. Every day has been..."

"Stop it!" she spat. "You don't get to say those things."

"I shouldn't have left."

"No. You shouldn't."

"I'll never forgive myself."

"Good," she said through gritted teeth. It was clear she was crying now. Every word she said stunted with grief. She wanted to tell him about the baby. She wanted to beg him to come back for her. But this was all his fault.

"Anna. Please?" he urged, his own voice wobbly. "Just tell me you're all right."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I love you. I still do. I always will." She was crying loudly now, her hand clasped over her mouth. Maria came dashing in, holding her tightly with wild and confused eyes. "Anna." Hans said again. "Anna, please say it back."

"You abandoned me!" she shrieked, Maria finally realised who it was at the other end.

"I didn't want to..." he pleaded, "but you made your choice, and I knew there was no way you could have us both!"

"You left me with him!" she shouted. "Have you any idea what I've had to do? What I've let him do to me..."

"Anna. Please, I can't hear that."

"You think your life is hell?" she screamed. "Imagine mine? Having to constantly endure that on top of you..."

"Anna. Stop!"

"I hate you!" she sobbed. She clung to Maria.

"Anna, I'll never..." he said, but Maria tugged the receiver out of her hand as she clung to her.

"You have no right to talk to her," Maria said in a firm, biting tone. "Just tell Karl she called. You make me sick." Then she put the telephone down, holding Anna as she broke down in her arms.

***

Maria had no idea what to say to Anna. She'd managed to calm her down enough that she had stopped furiously sobbing. Now she was just sitting by the back door in her spot, wrapped in a blanket, sniffing and hiccupping occasionally. The tears still spilled down her cheeks, but she did at least seem calm. Maria came and sat beside her, handing her a glass of water. Anna just looked at it.