KevEdd One-Shots Book

Oh Boy, You Left Me Speechless

Author: Choice
Summary: Eddy rubbed his hands together in glee. "Let's have a dare!" "Oh, I love dares! Almost as much as life itself. And toast," Ed murmured to himself, humming happily. "What kind of a dare?" Edd asked sharply.

"Sup dorks, took a wrong turn on your way to Loserville?" Kevin greeted them breezily, casually shouldering Eddy into a bay of nearby lockers as he made his way to homeroom.

"I'm sick of Boxface!" Eddy snapped as he righted himself with the help of Edd. "He's always got something witty to say."

"Well, what do you want to do about it? He's one of the most popular kids in the entire school. He can lift seventy-five pounds in weights, has unhindered access to any number of dangerous tools in the auto shop, and he excels at many contact and defensive sports." Edd reasoned, readjusting his bag full of books as they continued their trek.

"Geez, obsessed much?" Eddy sniped, missing Double D's stuttered reply. "I don't know, Double D! All's I know is that we can't just sit by and let the loser go on making fun of us!" Eddy fumed. He kicked a locker for good measure, and Edd politely ignored him as he hopped and cursed the stupid lockers of being made of indestructible steel.

"Let us challenge Kevin to a duel!" Ed announced loudly, windmilling his arms around himself. Edd rushed to settle him down as the rest of the kids in the hall (luckily, Kevin was already out of sight) turned to stare at and whisper about them.

"There will be no dueling of any sort, Ed!" Double D chastised a touch nervously, shoving Ed's bookbag - which had gone flying during the boy's flailing display - into his tall friend's chest, winding him. "That is barbaric and unseemly and so, so messy!"

"What does barbaric mean, Double D?" Ed asked him in confusion, attempting to slide his arms through his backpack's straps while wearing the thing like a hat. "Is that what happens when the barbers get mad?"

"You might be onto something, Ed," Eddy mused, tapping a finger against his chin with his usual calculating grin that never led to anything good or sane.

"We're going to get a barber?!" Ed squealed in delight.

"We are not engaging in primitive fisticuffs, Eddy!" Edd chastised."

"Chill, losers!" Eddy snapped. A moment later, he rubbed his hands together in glee. "Let's have a dare!"

"Oh, I love dares! Almost as much as life itself. And toast," Ed murmured to himself, humming happily.

"What kind of a dare?" Edd asked sharply.

Eddy grinned over at his two friends. "We try to get Kevin to shut his big, ugly gob for at least one full period of class. Winner gets..." he paused to think.

"Placed on life support?" Edd offered dully.

"Endless goats!" Ed cheered.

"The losers as his slaves for a whole day," Eddy finished proudly, crossing his arms over his chest with a satisfied smirk. "Deal?"

"Deal!" Ed parroted back with delight.

"What's the catch?" Edd asked suspiciously.

"Absolutely none," Eddy reassured with a slimy grin. "Anything goes. The brick head needs to shut up for a full ninety minutes."

Edd narrowed his eyes at his friend for a few tense seconds before nodding his head rather bravely. "Deal."

"Sweet!" Eddy crowed. "I'll go first. And enjoy an easy win," He whispered that last bit to himself.

Edd rolled his eyes as they finally made it to homeroom and sat in their assigned seats. Never a dull moment.

~*~