KevEdd One-Shots Book

Stuck

Author: MickeyMack
Summary: I don't want to be stuck in this cycle anymore... He must confess his feelings today. He has to tell him how his stomach somersaults at his mere sight. His knees go weak like they always do before a big football game. His palms grow sweaty, and it feels like he will throw up from pure anxiety at any moment.

I don't want to be stuck in this cycle anymore.

There he is again - every day, same time. He had a sock hat ideally in place, a shirt neatly pressed, shoes shined to a T, and a too-friendly smile on his unblemished face. There is no question as to where he is going. It is the same place he goes to every single morning. No doubt, he is going to his best friend's house to cook up another hair-brained scheme to cheat the other cul-de-sac kids out of their money. Those two dorks wasted that beautiful mind of his. Can he not see that? For someone to be so brilliant, how can he be so glaringly stupid? He cannot take it anymore.

I don't want to be stuck in this cycle anymore.

He must confess his feelings today. He has to tell him how his stomach somersaults at his mere sight. His knees go weak like they always do before a big football game. His palms grow sweaty, and it feels like he will throw up from pure anxiety at any moment. The few times the unlikely pair speak, the redhead always becomes uncharacteristically self-conscience.

And you don't even know how I feel.

He cannot take it anymore. He cannot sit back and suffer on his own while the other continues blissfully unaware of his feelings. Today everything will change. Today is the day he confronts him along with all these conflicting emotions. No longer will he hide behind the mask and persona of the self-confident jock. Every day is the same mundane routine, but today he is serious. He is determined to do this, to end this.

We can't be stuck in this cycle anymore.

Instead of teasing and mocking, he will talk to him. Rather than keeping his guard up, he will bare it all on the line. Even though nothing scares him more than wearing his heart on his sleeve for him, he must do it. This time for sure, he will -

"What's the hurry, double dweeb?"

No.

"K-Kevin, p-please!"

What is he doing? Why is he doing this? Again? As much as he tries, he cannot stop himself from lashing out and pulling at that perfectly placed beanie. The quickest way he knows how to replace that demure, polite smile with an expression of pure panic and fear. A look only he can draw from the well-known prodigy. Even as the object of his affection desperately tries to free himself without dislodging the hat, his harsh grip only tightens.

No!

Why is he doing this again?!

"I asked you a question, double dork!"

Knowing it is futile to struggle against the more muscular boy any further, the nerd settles for staring up at him disapprovingly. Kevin can feel his heart aching. That teary-eyed look says it all the dork hates him. Of course, he does. Why wouldn't he? All because he cannot find the courage to free them from this vicious cycle.

"If you must know, I was on my way to rendezvous with my friends. I was not aware that I was in your way. If you could release me, I will endeavor to be quick about ridding you of my presence since it displeases you so much."

He can't. He cannot let it go on like this. Even as his hands begin to tremble, his lips still refuse to obey his command.

"Kevin?"

Say something! Anything! Those big inquisitive blue-green eyes are patiently waiting for him to explain himself. The dork is allowing him to say what he wants most, to free them from this monotonous cycle, and all he has to do is open his mouth and speak. As his lips finally parted, his mouth parched, forcing him to close his mouth before swallowing and trying again. He lets the boy go before mustering the courage to look him in the eye.

"Double D I - no Eddward um I..."

The shorter boy's eyes are wide with an equal amount of curiosity and concern. Not only had the bully never addressed him by his preferred nickname, but he also never called him by his given name. Whatever the red-faced ginger has to say is something of immense importance.

"I have wanted to get something off my chest for a while now."

The reassuring smile the genius gives him makes his heart skip a beat.

"If you need to discuss an issue, I am more than happy to lend you my ear, Kevin."

Every time he says his name, more butterflies gather in his stomach.

"But next time, please do refrain from the ill-treatment. I am a pacifist. Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"You can help by listening and not saying a word until I'm finished."

"Very well."

His breath leaves his tight lips in a heavy sigh as he tries in vain to calm his frazzled nerves. After that does nothing to help, he closes his eyes to block that innocent face from view. He may look silly, but at least now he can say what he needs to; this is it.

"For a long time now, I have-"

"HEY, SHOVELCHIN!"

All at once, everything is crashing in. Kevin knows all is lost when King Dork comes running up to them with his big dumb lackey following faithfully behind. The look of dismay on Double D's face when Eddy shoves the taller jock is enough to make it clear.

He will have to endure another day.

As he and Eddy exchange hurtful words and violent blows, Ed picks up the weaker member of their group in a great big hug.

"Don't worry, Double D, I'll get you away from mean ol' Kevin."

"Ed cease, this is a misunderstanding - whoa, Ed!"

The big dummy speeds down the street without hearing another word and takes the only person Kevin wants to reach.

As he continues to pound their self-appointed leader into the dirt, he can feel the sting of angry held-back tears in the corner of his light green eyes.

He messed up again.

Like all the other attempts, he has reverted to how they have always been. Back to the same old familiar cycle. This never-ending sequence of isolation, pretending, insecurity, and yearning.

But well.

Tomorrow is another day.