Just A Little Bit Of My Heart

dead

everyone I know
living their best life
everyone from my class
partying away the night

but I just sit
on my bathroom floor
crying my eyes out
waiting for it to be over

but the end?
it never comes

so here it goes to another day
filled with broken dreams
and misery

here it goes to another day
I don't wanna live
if it's this shitty

all my friends
celebrating with their families
while I try to
get mine to love me back

all the kids
seem to have it better than me
hell, why can't I
just fade away?

maybe I already have
maybe that's why no one sees me
nobody cares for me
and that's what scares me

it's four am
I'm crying myself to sleep
blood on my hands and glossy eyes
realising the world I've built
of fake laughter and fake smiles

so I'm sitting here
with nothing left to say
why the fuck do I have to wait
till doomsday?

day after day, cut after cut
all my emotions
hitting me like a flood

I have no where to go
and no where to stay
running from myself
like a deer realising
that it's the prey

thought I'd jump from somewhere high
and boom and splat
thought I'd quit a lot of times
but I'm too cowardly for that

I miss the times
when I was a kid
too innocent and naive
to know that the world
holds nothing but pain

I miss the times
when I was just a boy
playing in the streets
with no care of what comes next

this life of mine
ending where it starts,
quite ironical isn't it?
when I spent so much time
wishing on the stars
that something will come
and take me along with it

as the exhaustion pulls over
as I let my eyes rest
I just hope that I don't wake up
I just hope I end up dead