holidays // machine gun kelly & pete davidson

9.

i woke up of the smell of coffee and pete and kells voices.
i realized that i was still snuggling tightly at kells in his arms. i let go off his arm and sat up slowly.

i felt super down and confused, why was kells still laying next to me and i in his arms when pete was in the room directly next to us. i started to overthink everything.

"i count it as yes" i heard pete voice, he stood up and walked into the kitchen.
"what?" i asked confused.
"pete asked you if you want coffee" kells sat up next to me.
"oh okay, why i still laid snuggled in your arms, why didnt you stood up?" i asked confused.
"you hold my arm so close, i couldn't get up and didnt wanted to wake you up" he laughed.
"im sorry" i said with a low voice looking at the ground now.
"sorry for what?".
"for holding your arm i guess"  i wasnt myself. i felt weird.

"here your coffee" pete handed me the cup. i thanked him.
"im sorry. i forgot to tell you, you shouldn't have open the box without me. i didnt thought you would find it yesterday" pete spoke up "have you read every letter?".
i shook my head.

"if you want we can open it together" he said low. i nod.
"okay i go upstairs then you both have some privacy, call me when you finish" kells spoke up.
"thanks dude" pete said.

i didnt cared if kells was there or not and i said it loud without a second thought.
pete took the box and sat next to me. i sat in the middle of them both.

pete gave me the first letter. he laid his arm around me. i laid my head on his chest and started to read the first letter.

my mother wrote that she was sorry me for leaving me alone. that I have certainly become a wonderfully smart woman and that she always was proud of me and still will be.

the second letter was from my father, which he had written shortly before he died. there were similar words in it.

in the third letter were many pictures of us as a family. the teddy and baby clothes were mine when i was young. it was something like a memories box.

i gave everything back to pete and just sat in silences there. i didnt cried, i felt numb.

"hey caro can you hear me?" pete shook me soft.
"yes what?" i switched back to reality.
"i asked if you are okay" petes voice was filled with concern.
"yes i am" i smiled "what is today's plan?"

they both looked a bit shocked at each other.

"i need to fly to LA for a appointment. kells lives there so we fly there together" pete said.
"alright okay" i smiled. i drank my coffee and pete and kells talked.
my coffee was empty. i stood up took my box went into the kitchen to bring my cup away and was on my way to my room.

"caro you good?" pete asked before i left the room.
"yes" i smiled and left the room.

i placed the box on the desk and picked my sport clothes.
i knocked at petes door and told them i would go jogging.

it was raining dogs and cats outside.
i jogged to my old house here i lived before everything happened, i jogged to my old kindergarten and school and to the orphan house (i called it like this) i lived later.

my music stopped, pete was calling. he asked if i am okay and i sad yes.
i realized  i was more than an hour away.

as i came back i walked straight to the bathroom and took a hot shower. i put a towel around my body and went downstairs to my room.

petes room was open, they could see me form the couch. "im back" i said and disappeared in my room.

i picked a my skirt with a ripped pair of tights and a top.

few minutes later pete knocked at my door "i talked with mom and she thinks you should come with us to LA. casey isnt here, your friends also not and she thinks it might be good to get off the island after you read the letter".
"pete im fine, im good" i acted super fine. the truth is am not fine, not good, nothing. i felt empty.

"caro, kells told me what happened yesterday. you can act strong but its okay to feel. i think you shouldn't be alone too. i saw how you clutched on kells arm this morning. you need people around you now" he sat next to me on the bed.

we talked for a few minutes and i agreed to come with them to LA.

"mom will bring us to the ferry at 5 p.m." he said. i nod and told him, i am going to do pancakes for breakfast and pete said they want some too. then he left.

i went into the kitchen, made some pancakes and we ate together.
after pete went to his room to pack his suitcase and kells helped me cleaning the kitchen.

we listened to music. i let my playlist playing and young thug started. i hummed along his song. while we cleaned the kitchen kells smiled at me.

"what?" i asked, irritated of him smiling at me.
then he confessed how he saw me hoover and dancing to young thug yesterday, how embarrassing but he smiled at me. we continued the cleaning.

after casey called me and we talked. i told her i was fine, i guess she hadnt spoke to pete or ami yet, in i prefered it taht way. then i told her that i go with pete and kells to LA, she wished me a good time and told my to be careful.

as ami came home we talked a bit and it was time to drive to the ferry.