holidays // machine gun kelly & pete davidson

30

i woke up, hating the realizations i had this night.
as i looked at my phone i saw a good morning message from brandon. i text him good morning back.

i didnt bother my sleeping clothes, walking up to the kitchen where ami and casey greet me.
"coffee?" cas grinned at me.
"yes please" i mumbled.

"i make late breakfast/Lunch for us all" ami smiled at me "pete and colson are joining us soon too".
as much as i love amis pancakes i was happy to go out for lunch, not needing to facing kells.
"that lovely, but i'm  going out with a friend" i spoke up as i got an message from bran saying he would be her in 10.

"what are you smiling, who text you?" cas asked.
"just brandon" i simply reply.
"uuh you came home late yesterday" she wiggle with her eyebrows.
"cas not again" i laughed. hearing ami chuckling too.

"but this time its more, you cant deny it, i saw how you both kissed last night" she said proud.
"casey" i looked shocked at her. did she really said that in front of ami?

"oh ho, sounds like you had fun" i heard pete behind me chuckling.
in this moment my whole body freezes, when pete heard it i am sure kells did too.

i turned around to see kells crunched his jaw. he didn't look at me, instead he looked at the floor and pinched me but he looks sad? that cant be, can it?
it feels like my heart broke in pieces seeing him like this.

then the door bell rang. cas jumped up running to the door "i open it" she yelled.

"yeah come in" i heard her saying. suddenly brandon stood in the kitchen.
"w-what are you doing here already?" i asked shocked "you're 8 minutes to early. also i'm not finish yet".
"thats okay, we have time" he smiled at me.
"you can eat with us. mom is making more as enough food for us all" cas quickly spoke up.

before i could say something against it brandon already agreed.
"sounds good, then caro dont need to get dress." he looked to me with a smile "i know you hate leaving early after getting up".

casey and brandon start to talk next to me, pete helped ami and kells made his way downstairs.
after a few moments of thinking what i should do ,i spoke up "i get ready real quick".

i walked down in my room and dressed quick in a long pants and a t-shirt. then i took a deep breath walking into petes apartment.

i expect kells on the couch, but he wasnt. then i heard noises out of the kitchen.
i stepped in "kells?" almost whispering.
"hmmh?" he stood with his back to me, both hand placed at the kitchen counter.
"are you- are you okay?".
"what do you want?" he snapped, still not looking at me.
"i- i want to- to check on you" i whispered while my voice cracked  and it came more out as a question.
"bullshit" he turned around walking passed me, leaving the kitchen.

i walked into the bathroom, splashing water in my face before walking back upstairs.

walking up i only saw ami, brandon, pete and cas at the table.
i sat down "were is kells?" i asked.
"he had to leave for an important appointment" pete spoke up and i only nod.
i know it's a lie.

the lunch flew by fast. the food was delicious. brandon talked a lot with cas and pete.
as we were finish, brandon and i decide to go out for a smal walk.

"whats wrong?" he asked.
"a lot" i breathed out.
"we have time".
"urrg, i hate you for kissing me because i now realized something i cant avoid anymore and i fucked up".
"you really like him, right?" he asked low.
"shit yes, i think so" i admit.
"that is super caro" he smiled.
"no its not, it hurts, its confusing, and i dont like it".
"you cant run away from your feeling caro. i know losing your parents broke you and the problem is deeper, because you're scared to lose other people you let close, i feel this way too"
"why is that so hart" i almost cried now.
"its not. you are strong. also you let friends close why not someone you love?"
"wow that l word is huge" i stopped him.
"okay okay but someone you really like more than just as a friend".
i rolled my eyes.
"you never said yes to a relationship because you are scared, but there is no reason. you deserve to be loved and yes break ups can be shitty as hell but you always need to stand up after and you grow though it"
"but he isnt a relationship type" i whispered.
"but he definitively likes you, the way he looked at you yesterday, the way he left today. its not because you just a good fu**buddy".

we talked for hours. i texted casey that i would come home later.
talking to brandon made me learn a lot more about myself.

as i made my way back home i only hoped kells is there and we can talk. i really need to get some things off my chest.