HYSTERIA

FORTY EIGHT - BARRACUDA

BARRACUDA - HEART

"You gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn to the wick."

ARIEL CALLAWAY

It's been a week of me staying at Arlo's. I've been ignoring all my texts from Avery, and a few days ago he took the hint and hasn't reached out since. June on the other hand, has been insistent, but she's smart and has been texting Arlo instead of me.

Our lease is up at the end of the year, not long from now. I only have another month of rent I need to pay and then I'm out of this city. Being with Arlo feels right, less suffocating. He understands the chaos of my life. We have the same trauma– love is a joke.

But as soon as that lease is up, June and Niall are getting their own place and I'm on my way to California. A change of scenery is exactly what I need.

I sit on the edge of the couch in Arlo's living room, the soft light from the lamp casting a warm glow around the space. It feels both comforting and alien, a reminder of how long it's been since I felt truly at home. The walls are lined with framed pictures of us growing up, moments frozen in time that feel like a different life altogether.

"Are you sure about this?" Arlo asks, his brow furrowing as he leans back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest. He's always been protective, but I can see the worry etched on his face. "California? Just like that?"

I nod, the weight of my decision settling heavily on my shoulders. "I need a change, Arlo. This place... it's suffocating me. Everything here reminds me of the mess I created." My voice is steady, but inside, I'm a whirlwind of emotions. "I need to start fresh. New year, new life, you know?"

He studies me for a moment, and I can tell he's trying to gauge whether I'm truly ready for this leap or if I'm just running away. "I get that. But what about June? Andy? Drew? And Miles? Stevie? Bonnie?" His voice softens. "You've built a life here, Ariel. You can't just throw it all away."

A pang of guilt shoots through me. "I know they'll miss me. But I can't stay in a place that's holding me back. I've been through so much, and every corner I turn here just reminds me of the pain." I take a deep breath, steadying my racing heart. "I'll find my way in California. It might be good for me to just go on my own, to figure out who I am without all the noise."

Arlo sighs, running a hand through his hair, clearly torn. "I just don't want you to regret it. What if you get out there and it's not what you hoped? What if you miss your friends? What if you miss us?"

"Of course, I'll miss you," I say, my voice firm but gentle. "But I need to do this for me. I've been holding onto this version of myself that doesn't even feel real anymore. I can't keep pretending everything is okay when it's not."

He looks at me, and I can see the weight of concern in his eyes. "Just promise me you'll be careful. I know you want to chase after dreams, but don't forget the people who care about you."

"I promise," I say, a small smile breaking through the heaviness in the room.

As we talk, memories flash through my mind like snippets from an old movie, each one vivid and filled with emotion. I think back to growing up in Virginia, the suffocating weight of our toxic home life. Arlo and I were just kids then, trapped in a cycle of dysfunction, but we always found a way to escape. We dreamed of a different life, one filled with laughter and freedom, and that hope pushed us through the darkest days.

When I got to Nashville for college, it felt like stepping into a new world. I remember meeting June, her infectious laughter echoing everywhere we went, a breath of fresh air that pulled me from the shadows. But just as quickly, memories of Ben creep in, a reminder of the betrayal that shook me to my core. It was supposed to be a time of discovery, of finding myself, but instead, it turned into a tumultuous rollercoaster ride.