Cardinal

Chapter 31

"How does sitting here and meditating help me control anything?" I ask Alfonso, my tone revealing my impatience. 

I was sitting in my sweaty and dirty clothes after training and annoyed at Alfonso for having me sit here to meditate. I wanted to take a shower and get rid of the stink. My whole entire physical form hurt and I only wanted to go to sleep after that tortuous merc training session. It wasn't fair that Alaina got whisked away by her links while I sat here and fucking meditated. 

"Just listen to him, baby" Keenan yells out from the side of the room. They were following me around now and taking turns watching over me after what happened in the academy. This was great because it was one less link to worry about when they were with me.  

"You'll need to visualize that you control your power not the other way around. Right now, it lashes out unpredictably when you're at a heightened emotional state and when you're threatened. The best way to do that is to do some anxiety-reducing techniques such as meditation," he tells me in a matter-of-fact way. I scrunched my nose at him wherever he was. I could just imagine him looking at his nails nonchalantly while having a bored expression. 

"Just let your mind empty, don't think about anxiety-inducing thoughts, and we can incrementally test your power so hopefully, you'll have more control with it," he tries to say it in a calm way but I was too annoyed with him to deem anything he says as calm. 

"Every thought I have is an anxiety-inducing thought," I murmur to myself but Keenan catches it and I hear him guffaw on the side. 

"At least you're self-aware," I open my eyes for a moment so Keenan could see me rolling my eyes at him. Jerk. 

After about an hour of trying to keep the intrusive thoughts away, Alfonso taps me on the shoulder. 

"Great job today, keep doing that this week and we'll see if we can start to work on some of the power control there. I'm guessing that because you hold it back so much, you don't have the control that you should have on it," I nod at Alfonso and watch him leave the empty training room leaving Keenan and I there. I fall back to the floor dramatically and turn my head to Keenan who gives me a pitying look. 

He walks over to where I was positioned on the floor and sits on the floor next to me. 

"I've got simulations again today," I sigh while looking at the ceiling. I was exhausted. The training was physically exhausting but mentally, I was barely hanging on by a thread. 

"Can I show you something?" Keenan asks and I nod at him. 

He holds his hands out, palm up when a tiny spark starts from his palm and grows into a small orange fire that was levitating from his palm. 

"When my gift first came to me, I couldn't even do this. Couldn't make a small flame. It was always so...destructive." He tells me as he rotates the fire in his hand with practiced control. I was entranced, it was so beautiful. How could something from him be so destructive? 

"I could only produce large fires and I couldn't control it. My brother got hurt because of me and it only wanted me to reject this power more," he tells me sadly, making the fire grow larger and larger until it was the size of a watermelon. 

"Your brother?" I didn't know that he had brothers. It never came up in our conversation and I guess I assumed it was just him and Julie. 

"Yeah, I have two other brothers that are a lot older than Julie and I. You'll meet them at the gala along with my nieces and nephews. They'll love you sunshine," he tells me with a smile which I return. I wasn't nervous about his siblings. It was his parents that made me nervous. They all had a say about keeping me here with them after the incident with my family and they had all said no.