I'll Fix You (Nico x Will)

#8

Will POV
I was walking through the forest, feeling horrible. What the heck had I done to Nico? I just remember being angry, really angry, then kissing the hell out of him. What does he think of me now? Are we still dating? Is he going to hate me for the rest of his life, and death? It's so hard to get on that kid's good side and even harder to stay there. What if I hurt him, and he won't tell me? I can feel physical wounds in people as well as emotional and mental, but it's so hard with Nico. He has so many violent and harsh emotions its hard to differentiate between his pain. I could never deal with even a fraction of what he has to every single day. Whenever I start to ask the gods why me, I remember Nico and all he's gone through. He went to Tartarus, the worst place you could possible get to. He spends half of his time in the underworld, living with dead people. That cannot be good for your health. His sister died. His dad is Hades for goodness sake! Nico might have finally had a break from the crap, then I went and messed it up. Why did I even think I deserved him.
"Will? Are you ok?" Nico asked, appearing out of the shadows behind me.
"Yes." I snapped at him.
"No you're not. I recognize pain when I see it. Tell me." He demanded. I couldn't help it. I broke down and told him everything.
"I'm still struggling to learn how to deal with the anger. It hits at the worst times, overtaking you, swallowing you whole. The world fades and fuzzes out. Like you can still see, but you don't. I start to collapse myself into my head, where all my demons hide. That's where the worst parts of me live. It's a side I never let people see. I keep it suppressed. Hidden. Out of sight. That's part of the reason it so completely overtakes me. I can't control it, partially because I'm scared to. I'm scared of what I might do when I remember what I do when I get that angry. Who I might hurt? What if they end up like my sister? Thats one of the reasons her death makes weighs on me so heavily. That morning, before they got her, I got angry. I took it out on her. I told her I hated her. She was undeserving of life. She should just kill herself already. You see, Alexa suffered from really bad depression. She had attempted suicide at least two times that I know of. I managed to talk her out of it both times. Thank the gods. But that morning, I just snapped. I had been having a really tough time in school, my best friend in our foster home had just been adopted, leaving me behind. The lady who sheltered did just that. Keep us off the streets. Nothing else. Except for hit us when she was mad. We got a bread crust for breakfast and a dying apple for dinner. 'Kept us alive' as she said. 'We could find our own lunch.' I still can't eat very much, I had lived in so little for so long. Alexa and I used to come here every summer. This is my first year without her here. She died this Thursday, last year. The last time she ever took a breath." I admitted. By now, I was curled up in a ball on the ground, my head in Nico's lap. I was trying not to choke on my own tears. Nico was smart enough not to say anything. I hate those pitying looks and useless words people whisper when you lose someone. Like 'Oh poor you. You can't handle the truth. Best to sugarcoat it.' It just makes me feel worse, like I'm too weak to accept the fact that she's gone. Besides, "I'm sorry" isn't going to bring her back. I just lay there, letting Nico stroke my hair. It was really relaxing actually. My sobs gradually fades to a silent stream of tears running down my face.

Nico POV

Will and I sat there like that for hours. He had really soft hair. Its like petting a cat or a ball of sunshine or something. The poor guy. I know what it's like to lose your sister. But I didn't have to watch her die in front of me, see her breath out, never to breath in again. I know what it's like to sob until you physically are so exhausted you can't cry anymore. Well, at least after a while, you get really strong abs. I finally realized how dark out it was and I brought him back to my cabin with me.
"Will, go take a shower." It wasn't a request. It was a demand.
"Why?" He asked.
"Cuz you are all dusty and sweaty and you have salt all over your face. Trust me, you are going to want to wash you eyes out before the tears on you lower eyelids dry." I advised.
"K." Will agreed.
"Shower are also good places to sort through life problems." I added. Will walked through the door, stripping as he went. I heard the door shut, then the shower start. I saw steam start to creep out from under the door. I flopped down on my bed, exhausted. I rolled over, and begrudgingly changed into pjs. They where actually just a pair of black sweats I usually sleep in. I kicked all Wills stuff to the corner. He could get it tomorrow. When Will came back out, he was just in one of my fuzzy black towels.
"Do you have anything I could wear? Preferably non black." He asked.
"Let me see. You look a lot better. The shower really helped, didn't it?" I said as I riffled through my drawers. I pulled it a pair of blue sweats. I tossed the to him.
"Shirt?" I held up a grey t shirt.
"It's kinda hot, I'm fine." He replied. "Uh, Nico? Can I sleep with you tonight?"
I nearly chocked. "Like sleep with me sleep with me or snuggle sleep with me."
"Snuggle." Will clarified.
"Ok," I said, climbing into the bunk I usually use. It's a queen, the perfect size for us to both fit. Will crawled in, a bit awkwardly, and lay down on next to me. I pulled him into a hug and kissed him.
"You can stay as long as you want," I whispered in his ear. Will was almost asleep so he just nodded, his breath tickling my shoulder.
"I love you Will." I admitted.
"I love you Nico." Will whispered into my neck.