Second Star to the Right

Haunting memories

!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS TRAUMATIC MEMORIES OF S.A., WARNING FOR SENSITIVE READERS!!!

(Y/n) POV
I went belowdecks and looked for a jumper Jo had asked me to get while James explained something to Jane and her. She slept with Jane and Wendy down here away from the crew who nowadays slept everywhere on the ship. I thought I'd never see these compartments again...a chill ran up my arm. I was suddenly back in here alone and young, surrounded by hungry eyes and fingers digging in my flesh. Stop it! It's over, it won't happen again, never! I squeezed my eyes shut but the crawling feeling wouldn't fade.
"Stop. Stop. Stop. No, no,  stop, leave me. Don't touch me," I muttered. I clawed at myself and pushed the invisible hands away without succes, "No! It's over, leave me!"
"(Y/n)?" A hand touched my shoulder and I flinched so hard the hand retrieved immediately. I turned around and saw James looking at me with concern, "Are you alright?" I took a deep breath and shook my head softly, "They were here, touching me...their hands...fingers on my skin," I whispered. James glanced around and got it, "Come here."
I dove into his arms and felt his chest rise softly and soothingly.
"They won't hurt you, never again," he whispered in my ear, "It's over, no one will ever hurt you like that again."
I nodded and closed my eyes, the horrible feeling slowly fading away, replaced by his comforting embrace, his words calming my thoughts.
"I'm sorry," he breathed after. I drew my head back and looked up at him, a painful expression on his face.
"You said it yourself, it's over," I mumbled. He looked not convinced, "Why did you come here?"
"Jo has her stuff down here, I didn't think the reaction to seeing these compartments again would be so...bad.
"Do you still feel uncomfortable around the crew?" he asked then, I shrugged, "Depends who, there are some guys I don't talk to, but most of the time it's alright. It really just this place," I said.
"Do you feel uncomfortable around me sometimes?" he asked.
"No, of course not," I replied and placed a hand on his cheek.
I brought my head closer to his and kissed him, he returned the kiss and pulled me closer.

Then he broke and looked alarm, "You're okay doing this here?"
"Yeah, as long as it's you and not someone else trying to pin me on the table over there."
"If you're fine with it," he murmured and kissing me again. I pulled his head closer and played with his hair, "You know we can wait and do this later, if this place is not ideal...I mean anyone can walk in and see us," James panted between kisses.
"So what, everyone aboard this ship has already seen me naked except of course  Wendy, Jane and my daughter," I replied.
"Yeah...alright," he said. He took his coat off and he picked me up, I kissed him, now being higher than him with my legs hooked around his waist. His mouth moved to my throat and kissed me underneath my ear. He moved me further into the compartment and I crashed against a wall, "Is this a no-spot?" He panted. I shook my head, impossible to talk with him so close to me. I had moved my hands downwards and tugged at his belt, his kisses still pressing on my lips. I wanted him, I wanted him now.
"(Y/n)..." he breathed on my throat.
"Mom, did you find my-" Jo didn't finish her phrase when she saw us.
I stared back at my daughter, her face was frozen with wide eyes and an open mouth. James put me down and stared too at Jo, fuck.

"I-I just came for my jumper..." Jo mumbled.
"Isn't it in your bed?" I said, clearing my throat. My cheeks were burning with embarrassment, I wanted to delete her memory of what she'd just see.
"If it's not there, one of the crewmen will have seen it," James murmured.
"Thanks," Jo squeaked . She was staring at me again, James looked from one to the other. Concluding that he should maybe go for now.
"Jo I-" I started but my daughter cut me.
"Mom, it's fine. Just...don't make me think about it, that's the last thing I want in my dreams. My mom and a fairytale character banging..." she shuddered.
"Alright, if you could keep that to yourself..."
"Sure."
"Thanks."