Back again with Tayler Holder

Chapter 21: Searching

I woke up and got changed before I sat by my desk and turned on my laptop. I began to search. I was searching for Ashton Rowland. Although Brandon told me not to do anything at all, I felt like I had to. Siblings shouldn't be split up like that. It was so obvious that Brandon loved his brother and it hurt me to see him so hurt.

It had been about two hours of searching and I had nothing. There was then a knock at my door.
"Knock knock stranger." I heard. I looked at the door and saw Vinnie stood there with baked goods in his hands.
"Hiya." I said to him as I quickly looked back at my laptop screen.
"What're you doing." He said dropping the bag on my table and flopping onto my bed.
"I'm trying to find someone." I said.
"Who?" He asked confused.
"Ashton Rowland." I replied quickly.
"Wait, like Brandon and Hunter's Ashton?" He asked stop trying to piece things together.
"Yup." I replied smiling as I took out a croissant.
"You're not gonna find him. Anyways why do you care?" He asked as he sat up on the bed.
"Yes I will. I'm not that far off now. I just need a phone number. I've got to do this." I said as I bit down on my lip and continued to search.
"It's like you like him or something." Vinnie joked as he pushed my shoulder. I sat there in silence.
"Grace..." He said seriously.
"What?" I said pretending to be confused.
"You didn't deny it." He said as he crossed his arms.
"So what if I like him? If it was you I'd still do the same thing." I said defending myself.
"Really? You'd do the same if it was me." He said as he sat on the desk facing me and looked for any indication I was lying.
"Yes I would." I said like it was obvious. Vinnie then grabbed both of my hands from his position on the desk. I looked up from my seat confused.
"Grace how do you feel about me? Because if I'm being honest...I really like you. I know I've messed up but I'm ready to give you my all."

I felt like a prick for what I was about to do. I knew I had to tell him the truth but I couldn't bear to hurt him.
"Vinnie....I'm so sorry but, I don't like you like that anymore." I said as I pulled my hands away from his.
"Wait...what do you mean? I thought you felt it too. Our connection."
"Vinnie we've always had a connection. I feel it too. But we've been through too much. It can't be fixed. There's so much stopping us from being together and it always goes wrong. Maybe it's just not meant to be."
"What are you talking about?! We've tried once! And it was the distance, and I was less mature." He protested.
"Exactly! You couldn't handle the distance. What happens when I go back to London after the summer? Are you gonna ignore me for the whole year again?" I said getting fed up with him. He has no right to be angry. I should be pissed with him for everything he's put me through.
"Well things are different now. I promise they'll be different." He said with a pleading look in his eye.
"Don't make promises you can't keep." I said as I picked up my laptop and left my room. I wasn't in the mood to fight with Vinnie. We'd never be together so I shouldn't even give him that false bit of hope. I like...someone else.

I stopped in my tracks.
"Wait so I like Brandon?" I said to myself.
"Oh yes you do." Blake said as he popped out of nowhere.
"What're you doing here? Don't you have a home of your own freak." I said as I tried to walk away but he pulled me back.
"Ooooo Grace has a crush! Grace has a crush!" He said singsongy.
"Shut the fuck up!" I whisper shouted before I pushed him into the nearest room to us. It happened to be the main bathroom.
"You need to learn to shut up Blake." I said folding my arms and looking at him.
"Just admit it. You really like Brandon and don't know what to do with your feelings. You're so fucked!" He said laughing at the last part.
"Is it that obvious?" I said sitting on the bathtub ledge with my head in my hands.
"You could say that." He said smugly as all he did was laugh at me.
"I'm trying to find his brother for him andddd it's not going well." I sighed as I opened the laptop and sat on the floor.
"Well have you tried secondary routes?" He asked as he joined me.
"English please?" I replied baffled. Blake shook his head at me and grabbed the laptop and began to type.
"Your problem is that you're looking for Ashton's direct contact. You need to look at the people close to him and try and find a contact through that. Aha there we go!" He said handing the laptop back to me.
"Your welcome." He whispered in my ear as he tapped my shoulder and walked out.
"How'd you manage that?" I said as he put a finger to his lips to silence me. I was now sat with a phone number on the screen. Brandon specifically told me not to do anything about it. But that was before I found a phone number.
"It's different now." I said trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing as I pulled out my phone and dialled the number. Here goes nothing.

"Hello?" I heard a voice say on the other side.
"Hi there, I'm Grace. Am I speaking to Ashton Rowland?" I said cautiously.
"Who wants to know?" The voice said smugly on the other side. Yup, definitely a Rowland.
"I'm just a friend of your brother." I said praying he wouldn't hang up after I admitted that.
"What do they want?! If they want to talk to me they can! They don't care about me or mom!" He said angrily.
"Listen, hear me out! It's been ages and they love and miss you. Trust me when I say they've been trying to talk to you." I said sincerely.
"Why couldn't they do this themselves then huh?" He said still angry.
"Look Ashton, things are complicated and it's not my place to explain things to you. But please give the boys a chance. You're already 15 and they've missed a big chunk of your life. Give them that chance to get to know you. Please?" I pleaded over the phone. I heard him sigh in defeat.
"Fine whatever. Give me a location and time." Ashton said. I gave him the address for a park next to Hunter and Brandon's apartment.
"Be there at 4pm tomorrow?" I said as if it was a question.
"See ya then." He said before putting down the phone.

I smiled to myself, picked up my laptop and left the bathroom. As I walked back to my room I bumped into Vinnie.
"Vinnie we need to talk properly." I said stopping him.
"Yeah we do." He said as he followed me into my room. I put the laptop down and then went over to my bed as Vinnie followed.
"Our 'relationship' wasn't the most stable. You helped me realise what I need and deserve as a person. And for that I'll forever be grateful. But who are we kidding? We can't be together. Not right now anyways. I'm sure there's a girl out there who'll give you her all and be able to support you ten times better than I ever could." I had tears streaming down my face. Vinnie put his hand over mine as his eyes welled up with tears.
"Don't say that last bit. I know you'll always be there for me and I'll always be there for you. I'll always love you Grace. But you're right. We're not each other's 'person'. Not right now. Maybe someday, but not now. We've got to support each other in relationships that might be better than what we ever had."
I pulled Vinnie in for a hug and we both sobbed in each other's arms. After about 20 minutes we had calmed down.
"So.." Vinnie started.
"So what?" I asked.
"Are you gonna make a move on Brandon?" He asked laughing at me.
"I...I don't know if he-"
"Don't be dumb. It's so obvious he likes you. I want you to go for it. I'll be here to cheer you on."
"Whatever you say Vin." I said before falling asleep in his arms. I was glad me and Vinnie were just friends now. Of course I loved him, but sometimes that love isn't meant to be put in a relationship.