Never knew having a mate would be so hard

baby time

                          Emptiness was an understatement. You never know what will break you until it happens. I lost two mates and one was by my hands. I could still feel the beating of his heart in my hand,the feeling of my heart breaking when his eyes turned back to normal.His last words were the only thing keeping me from shutting off completely from the world.

                       I walked down into the house and saw everyone grow rigid and concerned. I hadnt cried nor did i speak to anyone only when there was something they needed an answer.I looked at bella and smiled a little seeing her big belly. She would be delivering my nephew soon and i couldnt wait to see him. I saw jay starring at me with his big brother look. I might be alpha but Jay was still my big brother and he was always worried about me. I smiled and walked outside looking at the stars. Aliana appeared next to me. "Go away" I groaned out. Yes i disrespected our goddess but i mean seriously she could have stopped this from happening but nooo."Dear dont be like that. I know your hurting, itll get better."She whispered touching my cheek."How, i have no mate i wont give and heir to the thrown.Im alone and you dont care. Your our goddess, your sapossed to look out for us but all youve done is take things away from me."I cried looking at her feeling myself breaking."Oh Raven i know thats how you feel but i have a plan for you. You will make it through this, i promise tomorrow when you show up at school something will be there that will make you feel better."I nodded as she kissed my forehead and disappeared. I heard a cry of pain and ran inside seeing bella going into labor.

                   Jay carried her to my room as the doctor came in. I went to leave but she grabed my hand."No your the god mother we want you here. I need my best friend."Bella whispered and Jay nodded."I need my sister. And he needs his auntie."I smiled and grabed Bellas hand as she begane to push. I felt a tear roll down my cheek when i saw my nephew for the first time. Bella held him as Jay cut the cord.They both looked at me "Wanna hold him"Jay asked and i nodded taking him in my arms."Hey buddy im your auntie Raven. I promise i will take care of you and we can have fun all the time."I whispered as he grabed my finger."What are you naming him?"I asked. Bella and Jay looked at each other and smiled."Josiah Jude Crane."I felt myself tear up more."Welcome to the world baby Josiah Jude."I kissed his head.Jay wraped his arm around me as they took pictures of us all. I left them alone to be a family before curling up in bed. I looked at my necklace and played with the ring. I miss Jude all the time and its almost hilarious how much i miss him. I feel bad that when i was with Josiah Jude was always in my mind. I loved him even though we faught in the beginning.

                             When the sun came up i just wanted to stay in bed but knew i had to go to school. I pulled on a black dress that was tight and went to my knees,it had green,yelloow,and red sparkly swirls on it. I put on my black heels and left my hair in its natural curls before walking downstairs.I got in my car driving to the school and getting out of my car. Today we were having a meeting in the gym to discuss saftey. When i walked into the gym everyone was swarming around one spot."Sit down."My voice boomed across the room. Everyone quickly obeyed being quiet."As you all know last week we suffered the lose of Josiah. He was a great man but because of his ways he was overtaken by evil. I havent gotten into that subjest in any of my classe. Its usually a senior speech but today im going to speak to all of you."I looked at them all."Josiah was my second mate and we never mated. When a mate is sleeping with another person with the knowledge that his ture mate is near it opens an evili in him."I felt my lip quiver. We had invited multiple highschools to come and listen as well. I could see some of their students checking me out."If that man of women continues his ways the evil grows stronger until it over powers him. Josiah and i made up when it was too late. He came to the school ready to take over. As his mate i tried to stop ot but the evil knows everything and told me straight up his laws. As an alpha i had to make the decision to save you all by taking my mates life. Now i know if any of you are faced with this decision it would be hard. In no way think that youd be punished if you couldnt go through with it. This only happens 1 in about 500 people. The mate would have to completely mess around and do it right in front of his mate. "I nodded at them all."Now i promise to all of you even if you dont come to this school. That if i am near you and you are in danger i wont hesitate to protect you. I was given the honor to become your queen and i hope losing two mates shows you im strong enough to have your trust. "I smiled playing with the ring on my neck.

                                          I looked beside me to see Aliana standing there and watching them all. Everyone was suprised to see her and mumbling started."Children i know that it scares you and your trust in me wavers at the things that might happen. But what i do is to protect you and better you."She put her hand on my cheek."My dear Raven your trust in me is so strong. Thats why when i leave i leave giving you a gift that you very much deserve and the knowledge that this time nothing will take it away from you."I looked at her confused as she kissed my forehead."Stay strong my children"Sh whispered before disappearing. I heard mumbling begin and nobody would stop. I groaned as they started walking towards the door outside there was some kind of thing going on. I ran infront of them afraid more danger had happened. When i made it outside i saw a guy standing there with a huge smile. His black hair covered his eyes. When he looked up i saw those beautiful blue eyes that would pierce my soul.

                                                 I shook my head not being able to move as he walked closer. I looked up at him as he put his hand on my cheek."Hey babe,did you miss me?"He whispered."Jude"