Adopted By Harry Styles

Chapter 53

When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead!

-Neil Patrick Harris
_________________________________
If you can, read while listening to the song available!
_____________________________________

A smile can hide a lot of things. It can his a thousand emotions. It can hide your problem. Your lies. It can hide so many secrets. So many things.

Zayn left the tour almost five days ago and everyone has been trying to hold their head up high. I haven't really been doing well if you want to know, then again no one really cares about my feelings. At least thats what I think.

Nothing has really been the same since Zayn left the tour. I mean, especially for the fans. It's like one minute, everything is peaceful with rainbows and unicorns and some 11-20 year old perverted fangirls (don't lie you know it's true!) and then the next minute everything and everyone is burning in the firry pits of hell and I'm pretty sure we're all dancing around being the weird psychopathic assholes we are. I'm also pretty sure that again, Satan is laughing at us but maybe this time he is eating a crumpet and possibly coking on it while laughing.

When me and the rest of the guys got the news that Zayn left, everything has been pretty quiet. Of course, I had to have seen it coming. After all, I'm the one that had that whole talk with Zayn on the balcony not too long ago.

Liam hasn't been cheeky, Louis hasn't been silly, Niall hasn't been eating as much anymore, and Harry hasn't really been himself ether. Harry... Harry hasn't really been happy. He only has a mope on his face with pink puffy eyes. Like me, he's been crying too. And the other guys too. Especually Louis. I mean, Zayn pretty much was Louis' wing man. They were like brothers instead of friends, then again, all of One direction is but you get my point, right?

Like I said before, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to tour anymore, I don't want another album from the rest of 1D, I don't want that anymore, I just want Zayn to come back.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but even Doctor Who doesn't help anymore. I sound like a prick probably. And don't get me wrong, I love watching Episodes of Doctor Who, it's just that it's only doing so little. You know what I mean? You want to know what I've been doing for the last five days? Netflix, telly, barely any food (unless Harry forces me), pajamas, and having a mope on my face where ever I go. Except for when I actually go out, cause of the paparazzi and all their bullcrap. Because of what is happening right now, we have yet to have a moment of peace. Everywhere I turn now there is a camera flashing its lights, making me about to go blind. Not to mention all the interviewers and camera crew. It's really annoying.

Take it like this. Imagine everyday, and I mean everyday, you had to see the most annoying person you know right out side your door. Yah. Not to fun is it?

"I SAID THE NOT THE RED BUCKET!!" screamed The Doctor.

"YOU SAID RED!" Rose screamed back. Pretty soon there was a mad dash to get and run away from the alien. I let out a small giggle. Honestly this is my least favorite episodes, but you can't go wrong with Doctor Who. Especially when you feel like your depression is coming back.

I haven't felt like this since the orphanage. Since my family died. I feel empty. I feel lonely. I feel depressed. And even worse, my thoughts are coming back.

My demons have returned after months of hiding.

Oh, there's that creepy alien that--wait, you guys are still here. Spoilers!

I continue to watch Doctor Who until I don't want to watch it anymore. And this rarely happens, but I'm just not in the mood today. I flip through the channels and try to find something to watch. I end up finding Sherlock. Don't get me wrong, I love that show (a/n Benedict Cumberbatch is bae!!) but due to the fact that I feel like my depression is back, I'd rather not. So I continue to look and eventually finding Friday The 13th. Now I know it's a horror movie, but honestly, I actually laugh at every single death. I just think it's so cheesy, but scary at the same time. You know what I mean right?