I'm not sure how long I've been in this stupid coma, but the last time Anne visited me, she said that the tour is almost over, like in a couple weeks, then "I can finally have some time to relax." But the truth is, I don't want to stop going on the tour. Once I get home, I only have one friend to go to, Liv.
Justin's gone...it still hasn't sunk in. Sometimes I still think to myself (not that I have anything better to do) that I'll be able to go home and see everyone. That I'll be able to go and kiss...my boyfriend. Then I remember what happened, what I saw in that casket. I remember seeing Clare completely breakdown after the loss of her son, and how Leah reached her little arms towards her brothers casket.
I just have to accept reality, no matter how much I want it to change. If that was even possible.
Where's the TARDIS when you need it?
My current condition is a bit different, and by a bit different, I mean that I'm able to move my right hand now. I'm just not "awake" yet. Trust me, I've tried to wake my ass up, I just...well...don't know how. Not to mention it requires an ass-load of strength that I just don't have.
It feels weird to move my right arm more than my left. Considering I'm a lefty, it just feels really strange. Sometimes I wish I was able to move my left hand more, but there's only so little you can do in a coma.
It keeps scaring me thinking about how long I'll have to be in a coma. I heard that they can last days, weeks, months. But then I heard that they could last years. I don't want that! I can't lie is this stupid coma for years!
Sometimes I think back to how I got into this coma, and what I could have done differently. I can't help it. I mean, there's really not much to do when you're in a coma, other than think. The fact that I put Anne in so much pain and hurt makes me sick of myself. I mean she saved my life technically, but what I put her through in that moment makes me feel like a horrible person. Not to mention, Gemma.
Gem was in shock. If I remember, she couldn't even move to get the telephone. Her eyes her fixated on me bleeding, possibly an inch away from death.
Why did I do this? What was there to accomplish?
I was so depressed about Justin. I missed him so much, that I guess somewhere deep inside, I thought I would be reunited with him. Now here I am, in a coma, having no idea how to get out of it. Consequences can be such a bitch sometimes.
I hear footsteps coming towards me. Please don't be a murderer. Actually, please don't let it be time to put the catheter. That would be worse.
"Hey, Brooke." It's Gemma. I don't hear any other pair of footsteps, so she might just be alone.
"Hope you're doing well, things...really haven't been the same without around the house." God I wish I could say something back.
Gemma continues updating updating me on what is going on. "Liv has been worried sick about you. She wanted me to tell you that, things between her and Angelina haven't really been great. She'll tell you the rest when you wake up. The guys are...well...different."
Oh goddammit.
"Niall won't eat or sleep, everyone pretty much has to force him to do so. Louis hasn't really been goofy, or at least, his normal standard for goofy and crap. Liam doesn't talk as much. And if he does talk, it's usually about you and when you're gonna make up. Harry...disappears. He just leaves without saying anything. Sometimes he doesn't get back until hours or minutes before they're supposed to get on stage. Other times people have to track him down. This hasn't even been released to the public, how the guys are doing I mean. I can't understand why."
I think I know where this is going.
"We just really need you back Brooke. You are the glue that hold everyone together, especially for Harry. Without you, it's a mess. Please," she grabs my hand and squeezes it, "just wake up."
She's crying. I can tell because she's starting to sniffle at almost every word she says. And just like Gemma wants me to. I try.
I use all of the strength I have. I'm not sure how to feel about it, it doesn't hurt but it's pretty damn hard.
I try. I want to move. I want to be able to feel something other then a hospital blanket. I want to be able to run and jump and enjoy my life. I want to see my family and not just hear their voices. I want this. I want all of this.
I'm not sure how I'm doing it, mentally or physically.
I keep thinking of seeing my family and the smiles on their face. I keep seeing stars. I'm becoming exhausted, but I can't stop now. I refuse to stop. I have to do this.
I can feel Gemma's hand slowly soften, she's giving up. But I don't know if she's giving up on hope or giving up on me.
"I'm sorry, I should be begging you. I know you'll wake up when you want to, or able too, I'm not exactly sure how this works."
Me too, Gem.
"I just hope I'll be able to see your face. Well, I mean I see your face obviously. I mean--well, I hope to see your face when you're awake. God that sounded so stupid."
You should hear what I think when your not here then.
"I just, I don't know what I was thinking. It's not like I have magical powers to make you wake up. Oh well. I just hope you make up soon Brooke. We all miss you...I miss you."
I feel her hand leave mine and I begin to panic. She can't leave.
I'm trying my best Gemma! I'm sorry! I can't do anything else. I'm useless on my own. Please don't leave me.
I suddenly find strength. I fight, I try to move. I do everything I can. Then...white.
I see white. What's happening?
It's the ceiling. I can see.
I sit up and see that Gemma is about to go through the door.
"Maybe you do have magic, Gem."
__________________________________________________________________________
Authors Note
HELLO PEOPLE I'M ALIVE!
I'm so sorry it took me so long to update this story. School has been a real bitch since I'm in my junior year of High School.
Now that I'm back, I can finally find some time to write the rest of the story.We're almost done guys. Then the sequel will be up. I'm not sure how long it's gonna be, but I know for a fact that it's not gonna be as long at this story is. I can imagine it being about 20-35 chapters, but I'm not sure yet. I'll know when we get to that point.
So much stuff has happened since I last wrote! The guys have solo stuff, another one had a child (why Bear, Lima. I wanna know that), Harry has his own album out and a tour coming soon! Lord have mercy we are blessed.
Who's going to Harry's concert? I actually managed to get a ticket for the one at Radio City Musical Hall while I was in my AP class! Let me know if you're going and I may be able to meet up with you there!
What do you think of Liam naming his kid Bear Gray Payne? I honestly have no words.
What about Niall? I wonder what's next for him! And Louis too!
I can't wait to continue writing the next chapters of this story guys!
HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY ABHS!!!
214k :'D
Until next update!
Question of the chapter: Do you think that everything will go back to normal now that Brooke is awake? Why or why not?
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