Chapter 65 [Part 1]

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This chapter is fairly long. I suggest that you guys read it all, but I can't control what you do XD

If you can, play the song that is available above (phone or tablet) or to the side (computer)

Song for the chapter: Afire love - Ed Sheeren
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This chapter is dedicated to any of you who have lost someone that was close to you or anyone that you have loved. Know that I am here for you and I love you so much. This chapter is also dedicated to those of you who are hiding who you truly are. Don't be afraid to be yourself. Embrace it. I love you all!

Enjoy!
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  I tried to convince Harry to stay on the tour, but it didn't work

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  I tried to convince Harry to stay on the tour, but it didn't work. He insisted on coming as well as the other lads. The thing is, we couldn't just leave with out any reason on doing so, and I didn't want to be the reason why fans wouldn't be able to see their boys. Liam took the blame saying that he was incredibly sick. The fans don't know that I had just lost the boy that I deeply loved, and they don't know that his father murdered him. I felt so bad that the lads were coming with me when they should be performing and making thousands of girls happy, rather than one.

  We were on our private jet heading home, but to me, the plane was taking me to hell. It was bitter sweet going home. All I could think about was Liv at this point. Justin, Liv, and I...we were so close. I want to relive the moments we spent together. Like the time when I had to hold Liv back in order to prevent her from beating the crap out of Justin (from playing Monopoly). What am I going to do when I see her? I want to hug her so tight that maybe she couldn't breath. I want to be by her side as if she were to do the same to me. All I wanted to do was be with her at this point, be used she's the only friend I have left.

I think about Justin, which is a danger to me and my thoughts. I think of the day we first met, and how we just clicked, the day he gave me the locket, the time we almost kissed, the day we actually kissed, the last time I ever saw him, and the last time I ever heard from him. I suddenly felt a single tear fall from my eye. I had lost my first real friend is so long, my first connection, and my first love. What was I going to do?

I quickly wipe the year from my face and stare out the window. I didn't see any beauty. All I saw was a shit load of nothing. When you loose someone important to you, you feel as if the world has just lost all of its beauty. You feel as if nothing could ever feel wonder again. Like darkness as just swallowed you whole.

"You okay?" I heard someone ask. It was Harry.

"No." I say. He puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses the top of my forehead. I let a few more tears but. I quickly stopped myself. I didn't want to cry. I felt weak when I cried, and I'm pretty sure that Justin wouldn't want me to cry. He wouldn't want anyone to cry.

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