/𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒\ [𝒔. 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌]

𝟕.𝟙𝟘.𝟣

"if we could light up the room with pain, we'd be such a glorious fire." ~ Ada Limon

~april 1977~

The morning after Marlene's birthday party fell on Gryffindor house in a haze of lingering cigarette smoke and hungover groans from all corners of the common room. The place was a mess. Bottles and streamers and confetti were strewn amongst students sleeping haphazardly across the floor. Sirius was using Artemis's stomach as a pillow, while she slept on her back with one hand woven in her hair.

The only person who seemed fully awake was Marlene. She was sitting upright on the window seat by the big bay window, staring out at the grounds with a mug of coffee cradled in her hands. It was gloomy out, and the sun was just beginning to crest above the tree line. Marlene's eyes travelled further than that, not taking in any of the view.

When she heard a ruffling behind her, she didn't turn until Emmeline spoke. "Marlene."

Marlene turned to her. "Em, sit down."

Her eyes were so serious, Emmeline sat without hesitation. She pulled her legs to her knees, holding herself as if her body might shatter at any second. "Marlene, I dunno what I said last night, but I remember enough to know it-"

"Em." Marlene quieted her with one word. "Em, I know. You told me you- You told me you love me."

Emmeline's entire face turned beat red. "God, I'm such an idiot."

"You're not," Marlene whispered. "You're really not."

"I was drunk."

"I know."

"I didn't know what I was saying."

"I know."

"Marlene-" Emmeline stared out the window and rested one cheek on her bare knee. She couldn't look at her. Her voice was no more than a whisper. "I meant it."

There was only a beat of hesitation. "I know." They were both silent for a long moment, and when James let out a jarring snore from the couch a few feet away, both girls nearly smiled. Marlene took a deep breath. She looked at Emmeline, with her hair hanging limp, trailing all the way down her back in pretty little waves. She looked at her freckles, her hooked nose, the way her eyes lightened in the rising sun. She stared at Emmeline like it was her first time ever seeing her. And then Marlene looked down at the coffee in her mug, dark and bitter. "Em... listen to me. I can't do to you what Dorcas did to me. I can't... I can't give you something without being able to... be here."

"Then don't."

Marlene struggled to take another breath. She was thinking of Emmeline, and the way she always wanted to compete to see who could fly higher during quidditch practice. The way she laughed so loud at jokes that weren't funny just to make whoever told it feel better. The way she would dance to Bowie in the middle of the common room without a care for who was watching.