You healed me.

Ch. Sixteen

Jodie's POV

For a while, I just sat there next to Katie looking down at my hands. It was surprisingly awkward, I thought Katie was the sort you could never find awkward. I guess it's just my head.

I looked at my phone, and nausea started kicking in. I remembered all about Becky and what happened with her and Oska. I quivered slightly, before checking my phone. I had two missed calls. Both from Bex. Starting to worry slightly, I gave Katie an apologetic smile and stood up slowly, quickly dialing in her number. She picked up on the second ring.

"Jo?" No hello. No how are you. No are you okay. Just "Jo?". I nodded and then felt stupid. She can't see you, idiot!

"Um, yeah. Hi." My voice cracked slightly but it was healing already. I felt awkward talking to her which is something new for us. We don't do awkward. Awkward doesn't do us.

"Jo." She sounded blunt and unamused. This confused me. Hello to you too, honey.

"Yes...?" I was starting to get annoyed. First all the secrets, no explainations, sideway glances and now the bluntness. Have I missed something? Because stop. She's supposed to be my best friend...great friend she's being. But it's what she said next that left me feeling butthurt and out of the loop.

"Back off. The boy. Is. Mine." She growled before hanging up.

What?!

What have I done now? Oska popped into mind but it didn't add up. It sounded like she was threatening me. The sweet kind Becky I loved is now gone, replaced by this horrid evil witch.

A shiver ran down my spine; it's finally set in. I'm all alone. No family? Okay I'm used to that but no friends? No Becky? No chance.

Katie slowly stood up and inched towards me, a slight smile on her face. But right now I couldn't bare to look at her. I bet she has it all.

I bet she has amazing friends who love her and wouldn't dream of betraying her. I bet she has a boyfriend who is cute and loving. I bet her whole family treasures her. Oh, how I bet.

But me? Hell no. I have none of that. It would be of my wildest dreams to have a healthy breakfast. A nice dress. A school bag. It would be of my wildest dreams to fall in love. A nice handsome lad who would do anything for me. Or to go to university. Study art, maybe get a degree.

To have a friend. A family.

Those would seem like fairytales to me. Magic. Unreal.

My eyes started stinging and for the second time today I broke down in tears. I fell to my knees and sobbed, with Katie's hand on my shoulder. She tried to calm me down. To pull me up, but I would only scream and try to get away from her.

All of a sudden I couldn't breathe. My heartbeat sped up by miles and I lost all feeling in my body. I collapsed, still wide awake but I felt dead. My vision blurred from the tears and my breathing got even more rushed and unsteady.

Oh no, please. I thought.

Not again, not now.

I screwed my eyes shut and tried to scream, to make any noise but I couldn't breathe therefore I couldn't speak. My mouth felt dry, my throat felt raw, my heart felt plastic, my eyes felt warm and my head felt heavy.

I hated it. Despised it. I knew what was happening. I knew exactly what was happening. But I couldn't stop it.

I could feel Katie shaking me from side to side and holding me steady but other than that; nothing. I felt numb.

This went on for what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes. Suddenly, like a snap, I was back to reality. I was heavily breathing still, bit certainly breathing. The tears stopped coming down, but I still felt dizzy. I looked up to see a look of shock and worry on Katie's face.

Pity...

"Was that-"

"A panic attack."

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Tiiiiireddddddd. Its like, nearly midnight.

Also its the first time I uploaded on my phone for agessss so if there's spelling mistakes thats why XD

Q: ever had a panic attack?
A: no that's why my description is probably far from reality. Ah well;)

G'night
xoxox