♠ 𝙄𝙆𝙄𝙂𝘼𝙄 ♠ | F4 Thailand

前

Haruka had always hated the first day of school. Too much noise and too many people trying to coax her into joining their conversations just to end up gossiping about their crush or recent purchases. Every year it was the same thing, so she gave up on trying to befriend her classmates.

She wouldn't call them shallow, as in a way she's shallow herself. Ever since she was little she had had everything she wanted, from clothes to accessories to shoes. She'd never had to check the price before buying something she wanted, she's never had to count her money to make sure she had enough and she'd never have to take public transportation. She was thankful for never having to go through the financial struggle and mental distress she witnessed from strangers. 

But sometimes she wished she could've grown up with the same love those families give. They worked harduously every day to make ends meet but when they went home they had a loving family waiting for them. Not staff and employees. They shared laughs, stories and funny anecdotes over a cosy meal. Not an ambience of silence over a complicated meal too little to satisfy a grown individual.

Haruka realized from a young age that it didn't matter if you're rich or poor, have greater assets or little to no assets, loneliness and despair will always follow you wherever you go. To live you had to pay a price, and the price varied from person to person.

She has met her fair share of both sides of the coin, the arrogant wealthy individuals drunk on money and willing to destroy everyone and themselves just to become richer, and the tormented lower class at their wit's end from overworking and obsessing over making money and putting food on the table. Money was always at the root of the problem.

There was no way to tell if her classmates wanted to befriend her because they had genuine intentions or if they were like the power hungry creatures she was accustomed to. Back in the all-girls school she attended, the girls couldn't go out after school, they weren't allowed to bring phones into the school premises and everyone was constantly pressured into studying hard so as to uphold the school's reputation. Having fun almost felt forbidden.

Haruka didn't get the chance to make friends back then, she started school in the middle of the year and everyone had already made their friend groups by then. But she wasn't too bothered, as she had Ayame by her side.

Haruka was born with a compromised immune system and spent a lot of time in the hospital as a child. There, she met Ayame, a cancer patient. They hit it off immediately and would play together until the nurses told them it was time to sleep. They would eat together, make pillow forts, hide behind the door and scare the nurses, read under their bed sheets with flashlights and randomly name the stars they would see from their room's window when the sky was less polluted. 

They became each other's sisters when they were in the hospital, joined at the hip. Ayame would even refer to her as her sister in front of her parents and brother when they came to visit her. She would always include Haruka in the makeshift picnics her family would make in their room. Colorful clusters of ballons strung everywhere, a red picnic blanket laid on the floor in the center of the room with Ayame's favorite dishes carefully set on it. Haruka would always remember that Ayame was the happiest then, surrounded by her dear family, eating the apple pie made with love by her mother, messing around with her brother and solving sudoku puzzles with her father. 

Ayame had noticed that Haruka's parents never visited her, instead she would get an occasional visit from a representative of her family to inform her parents of her well-being, but Haruka never talked about it. Her mood would visibly dampen and she would refuse to play, laying on her bed all day with the sheets pulled over her head. Ayame then made the decision to include Haruka in her family. If Haruka didn't have a family, then she would be hers.

Haruka was the first to be discharged from the hospital and was immediately enrolled into school after settling back into her parents' house. She couldn't visit Ayame as often as she wished, but when she didn't have music club activities she would visit her secretly after school. She would bring different types of bread and beverages they would sell at their cafeteria for Ayame to try. The melon pan's combination of soft and sweet bread with the crispy layer of cookie dough was her favorite. They couldn't spend as much time together as they did were younger, so they always tried to take advantage of the time they had.

One of Haruka's favorite memories was when the nurses allowed Ayame to spend some time in the gardens with her. It was the first time in months that she was let out of the hospital so Haruka thought they should do something different and brought two foldable easels, canvases and some acrylic paint. The girls spent the entire afternoon painting what they wanted, from the trees, to the clouds, to the flowers and to the sunset. No limit to their experiment.

By the time 2nd year rolled around, Ayame fell even sicker and Haruka couldn't visit her as often. Everytime she would try to see her, she would be sleeping and the nurses would tell her to return the next day. They texted each other more often then. Even though it was against school regulations, Haruka would sneakily bring her phone to school just in case something happened and she were to be contacted. It was a precaution at best but the unfortunate happened sooner than later.

And she never got to say goodbye, and that ate her up inside. She became closed off, she didn't want to befriend anyone. If they were at least genuine, she would be kinder with her rejection. If they were opportunists, she would just ignore them or harshly glare at them until they left her alone. 

The situation with her parents hadn't helped either. Her parents fought constantly and would lock themselves in their individual offices to cool off and Haruka would be left alone with the staff. Eating her meals by herself in a massive ebony wood dining table surrounded by the watchful and nervous eyes of the kitchen staff became a procedure in their household. 

She didn't feel a connection with her parents. She didn't grow up with their presence and even while sharing a house, she felt they were more distant than ever. She ate breakfast alone, went to school, ate lunch alone, had club activities, returned home, ate dinner alone and that was it. She saw them once a week at best for a couple of minutes even though they stayed home every night.

Things took a change when her mother passed away in a car accident. While she didn't mourn the loss of a mother, as she didn't feel that way towards her, she still felt sad. Her father suffered the most and drowned himself in work, hoping the wrinkled papers could make a plaster that would fix the cracks in his broken heart. Haruka knew then that despite her parents not getting along, they had loved each other very much at one point and maybe still had before her mother's death. 

By the time Haruka was a senior in middle school, her father seemed to have healed slightly. He was back to being the person he was before, except now he ate breakfast with Haruka before going to work. They still didn't talk much, mostly about school and some work related occurrences. They weren't on bad terms, but weren't close. To other rich families, this would probably be normal but for the lower class, this would be abnormal. She didn't see him as a father figure, sure he was her father but he didn't raise her, he was more of an acquaintance or  a family friend she lived with. Ayame was her true family.

When Haruka was in her first year of high school, her father decided it would be best if they returned to his hometown and she were to attend high school there instead. That was his home before marrying Haruka's mother and building a secondary business in Japan. So after completing her first year, they moved to Thailand.

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Random fact: Traditional melon pan doesn't actually contain melon, they're called melon pan because their grid line pattern resembles cantaloupes, but nowadays you can find variations with melon flavoring, chocolate chips, caramel, custard and even maple syrup