Nobodies [ a. irwin ]

twelve

a/n; hey guys, yesterday was Mental Health Day and before you read this chapter I think all of you should know that having any type of disorder does not make you any less worthy, capable, or awesome. If you're going trough a tough moment in your life but you're too afraid to ask for help, or tell anyone about it, then you can come to me. Any day, any time. I swear I'll listen and try my best to help you. If you don't want to come to me, then take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are not alone and talk to someone, a friend, a sibling, a parent or someone else you trust. We all need help to go trough certain parts of our lives and that's okay. Asking for help doesn't make you weak or stupid.

Warning; Before I end this big ass author note, I think I should warn you that this chapter will contain a scene of a panic attack, anxiety and if you think that's triggering in any way then feel free to skip it now. Remember you are never as alone as you may think you are. There's always someone there who cares about you, we just don't notice them.

Oh also thank you so freaking much for all the views, votes and comments Nobodies has been getting lately, it makes me extremely happy.

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Time is a funny thing.

When you're enjoying yourself, having the best time ever, it seems to pass in the blink of an eye. But when all you want is for time to go faster, when you can't stop checking the watch, time seems to laugh at your face and take much, much, longer.

The second option is how I felt as I sat frustrated at the front steps of the public library, my phone on my ear, calling Ashton over and over again just to receive no answer. It didn't even ring. Straight to voicemail.

I gave up and threw my phone into my bag, burying my head in my hands then letting out a deep, heavy sigh.

This is exactly the reason why I didn't try to make friends.

Ashton had promised to meet me here at the library over two hours ago but there was no trace of him. He didn't even bother to give me a call or at least freaking text me so I didn't look as dumb as I did right now.

I was getting mad. The I'm-gonna-rip-your-head-off-and-give-it-to-the-crocodiles kind of mad. And that was bad. Because I almost never, ever, got this pissed off.

I rushed into the building and the fact that it didn't calm me down as it usually did only made me even more furious.

I'm pretty sure my once perfectly put up into a ponytail blonde hair, was now a mess and that my face was red with anger. I couldn't stop digging my nails into the palm of my hand, my nails sinking deeper and deeper on my palm with each passing second, because I knew without having to look that my hands'd be shaking if I weren't doing that. I had been through all of this before. I knew exactly what'd happen next. Still, when the panic attack showed it's face, I couldn't help but panic even more.

I had finally made a friend. And I blew it.

Deep breaths, Emma. Deep Breaths.

Everyone knows who you are now. You can't be invisible anymore.

No. No. No. No.

You're all alone again.

Fury and rage quickly turned into panic and fear.

I suddenly couldn't breathe in air properly. I panicked more even though I knew damn well that'd only make things worse.

Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.