Colorblind [h.s]

32

The drive back to my apartment was silent for the most part. Harry chose to drive me, which wouldn't be my first choice, but I guess it's better than explaining to one of the boys what just went down. I told Harry that I wasn't necessarily mad at him, but that I needed time to process everything he revealed to me. And I wasn't lying. I can kinda understand the position he was in, and why he kept such a big secret from me. I mean, how do you tell someone that lost two years of their memory that you were best friends with them and used to be in love with them, especially when they thought that you were just some guy that forced them to deal drugs with you and your friends?

I did, however, rip him a new one for sleeping with me when he knew what he did, to which he asked if I'd rather he'd 'cockblocked' me again. And then I slapped him across the face and he shut up for the remainder of the drive.

During our conversation, I made him stop. I do want to know everything, but not all at once. I don't think I could handle all the stories and details all in one sitting. I know I asked about the accident and some memories, but I can't handle any more right now. All I want to do is take a long, hot shower and go to bed. I feel like so much has changed today.

Probably because it has.

With my bus ride being so early in the morning, I ended up taking my long awaited shower and a good night's sleep where I dreamt of drinking wine in a park, next to a familiar face.

I'm now on a nearly 3 hour train ride back to Sacramento, which gives me plenty of time to process and think about what the fuck I'm gonna say to my Mom when I see her. Part of me thinks maybe I should just leave it alone so I don't have to come up with a lie about how I know Harry again, but a larger part wants answers.

Why would she tell Harry that I was dead, when I very clearly wasn't? If she didn't like that he and I were friends, she would've made damn sure that I never saw him again, but to go so far as to tell him I was dead? And then move us back to the States right after I wake up from my coma? It just doesn't make any sense.

I plan on getting answers, but right now I'm too exhausted to plan out what I'm gonna say. I'd rather wing it with a rested mind than plan it with a tired one.

That was my last thought before the train abruptly stopped, causing me to quickly open my eyes and grab my water bottle that slammed against the seat in front of mine. I mumble a "sorry" to the old lady in front of me and quickly get off the train to immediately see my mom holding up a sign with my name on it in purple letters.

I smile at the sweet gesture and run to hug her. She smells like lavender and chamomile, home.

"My sweet girl! Oh, I've missed you so much honey," she says into my hair as she holds me close.

"I've missed you too, mom. So much."

Nowadays, I only see her for a week or so out of the year. I spend my summers at school in my apartment, and only go home briefly for the holidays. I feel bad about leaving her alone for so long, but she's not who she used to be, and I'm not either.

She wipes her eyes and smiles, "Let's get your things into the car and head on home! I want to hear all about your semester!"

"Yeah, let's get going. I'm in desperate need of a shower," I laugh.

How's my semester going? Well, I'm definitely not dealing drugs and sleeping with our old neighbor who thought I was dead!

I know that I can't rush to conclusions as to why my mom took me away and never told Harry why. Of course I'm angry with her, but I know her. I know for a fact that she wouldn't have said that unless there were bigger things at play. Plus, how can I be so sure that Harry isn't lying? I know we've known each other before, but that's only because he has picture proof and stories to back it up.