(Updated: 6/8/2023)
You walked through those doors
as you did for my life
And all has changed since then
Never have I been so enlightened
by one's presence
At peace with the swirling troubles
That reside in my mind
Never have I seen such pigments
As bright
As inviting
It was an euphoria I became addicted to
That day had felt like the world
and we grew desperate for more.
Every moment spent,
Every passing meeting,
Time would be of a food we'd easily gobble up- something unbeknown to us,
until it was gone.
Never have I felt this type of emptiness
That seemed to fill my heart,
Throat, a vice tight, strangling-
For it seemed I only breathed
to be with you:
whose lips formed soft smiles
and gentle kisses;
whose embraces gave a warmth
I didn't know was needed
(this coldness is not one I recall);
who makes me
smile,
laugh,
yet worry and cry
so much,
quite endlessly;
Perhaps that's how it's meant to be.
One has known there was always tragedy in this kind of longing,
And God, how much I yearn.
Thirsty,
and I will count every tear that cascades down my cheek,
collected and stored in glass jars.
Tears of our memories
Our pains,
Our pleasures—
Starving,
and I will search for what you desire
deliver it to you on a porcelain plate,
hoping it's my heart
(please let it be so)
It rests, beating softly in your hands
Both as fragile
As strong until cracks dive deeper—
Cracks of the past,
Valleys of mistakes, heartaches-
How does my brokenness shine under the limelight?
Are you as broken?
Secrets swirl in your eyes,
and I've come with glasses
clear of crimsons.
You wouldn't do any of this for me.
Would you?
Perhaps I tried to ignore it at first.
Perhaps I was desperate-
greedy for the little validation you give me.
I want to go back
back to the blinding colours
Rewind-
rewind-
rewind-
Yet the record player continues playing
the same verse.
the book flips through its pages
onto the next chapter-
a new chapter without you.
It's almost laughable
the way my heart crumples,
ripped like paper by your hand.
You may get paper cuts
(Some part of me hopes you do)
Yet this sullen,
empty sorrow
Borrows deep
inside my chest
And I almost feel sympathy.
Almost.
It's such a shame, I think,
as my heart bleeds out.
It's such a shame for us to end.
YOU ARE READING
My Sins
PoetryA collection of poems I wrote, about my experiences and hardships. Hope you like it 👍 (Updating once a week x) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > (PS, it can be quite negative so, if you don't like that kind of thing, I wouldn't suggest reading it: Eg. Drowning)...
