Damn, You're Cute (Michael Clifford)

Chapter 65

Here's a nice, loooong chapter since I made you guys wait on a cliff hanger <3

Ashton walked toward the fire warily, dragging his feet through the sand. All eyes were on him, but I noticed his were fixed on Caroline. She stared back, unsure of what to say, before slowly putting some space between her and Calum, who let her move away but not without a disappointed gaze.

"Ashton, what are you doing here?" Michael was the first to speak as he released his hold on me and stood. I didn't even think to speak since I was too busy watching two guys longingly peer over at Caroline, her being the sun they revolved around.

"I..." Ashton looked around the bonfire, finally tearing his stare away from Caroline. A silence fell over us as we waited, but it was clear he didn't have a reason for being here. I knew it was silly for us to just sit in shock so I scrambled to my feet like Michael. "I don't know," he said bleakly, his usually bright eyes suddenly pained and darker.

"Well, I don't care what your reason is. I'm just glad you came," I told him with a small smile. I found it impressive that he showed up, knowing who'd be here and what it meant.

"I just- I couldn't sit at home," he tried to explain hoarsely, scratching the back of his neck. It was painful to watch him struggle for words, almost like his throat was sore and each syllable could barely be spoken. "It was killing me, knowing everyone was here but me."

"Are you here to stay, because we can get you a spot in a tent?" Luke said, drawing the attention to the other side of the fire. Ashton nodded, appearing distracted, like he couldn't stop his eyes from trailing all the way back to Caroline. When he did, his orbs held more pain, yet they were softer, like she was calming and safe but always a reminder of betrayal.

"I don't know. Maybe?" he guessed, shuffling his feet. I glanced at Michael because I wasn't sure if Ashton was a bit drunk with his questionable behavior. He shook his head slightly, letting me know Ashton was just upset and acting odd because of it.

Another silence fell over the beach, each of us staring at one another speechless: Calum at Caroline and Caroline at Ashton while the rest of us managed to switch between all three.

"Look, Caroline, I can't deal with this anymore," Ashton spoke up helplessly, breaking the quiet veil that was draped over our circle. He blurted out words with bursts of confidence. "Im tired of feeling like this!"

"Ash-"

"No, let me finish." he said almost pleadingly, and Caroline's mouth screwed shut quickly. "I'm so sick of wondering what I did wrong. I'm sick of questioning whether I just wasn't enough, or if I treated you badly! I can't keep thinking for days that Calum gave you more or that I did something to upset you. I'm constantly stuck in a never ending circle of self loathing because I must have done you wrong in some way, and feeling this way...Its something that can't go on. I can't deal with it anymore. I'm done! I'm so done and I just-I can't!"

Ashton was practically crumbling before us, a bit of himself breaking with each word as Caroline's bottom lip trembled from being overwhelmed with the whole situation.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and stood up, walking toward him. She rested one hand on his chest, looking up at his now shimmering eyes. It took me a moment to realize that they weren't sparkling with admiration, but from the glint of the fire in his glossy eyes. "I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did," he croaked, a small tear escaping down his cheek. He angry pulled his hair, wiping away the tear and weakly cursing with a vulnerable sniff. He reprimanded himself with a harsh whisper, "Damn it, I told myself I could do this!"

I had been in Ashton's place before: thinking I was too strong to cry. I knew this situation had hurt him much more than anyone ever expected. I realized that Ashton was careful about who he loved, and getting the person ripped away, especially by the girl's own choice, was his worst nightmare.