My Big Man [BxB]

[M] NINE - LUSTFUL GAZES

BO

What the fuck just happened?

One second, I'm getting something I had been craving for years. Then next Westley is running off to Garrett apologizing.

My heart raced erratically in my chest. I kissed Westley. And he kissed me back.

But he was drunk, then he chased after Garrett, fuck.

He was drunk. He probably won't even remember. Or worse, he will regret it. Suddenly the weight of the situation came crashing down on me.

Why? Why did I do that?

I ruined everything. He will probably hate me. Go to Garrett to heal from me.

Tear prickled in my eyes at the thought of it. I bet they'll sleep together now. He will want to wash me off his lips; replace the kiss with Garrett.

He will hate me.

Suddenly I had no desire to be at this party. I need to time to think.

I hastily texted Amiya saying I needed her. As I waited I pulled out a cigarette, shaking while lighting it. Still shaken up from what happened before.

Why? Why did he want to kiss me? Was it just some game? Or was it cause he wanted it?

My mind swirled with all kind of thoughts while my heart panted with all kinds of emotions.

Sure the kiss was nice, really nice. The best kiss I've ever had. West even kissed me back. But he's drunk, I'm sober, that's wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I flinched at her voice. Somehow I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even notice she had walked through the door.

"Bo?"

"Sorry." I mumbled, taking a huff of my cigarette, "Can you uh- spend the night at my house? I really don't want to be alone."

"If you tell me what's going on, yeah. Want me to get West?"

"No." I said took quickly, "Just us."

Amiya's eyebrows furrowed at my words while she crossed her arms. "Bo, what happened?"

"I'll tell you in the car."

She nodded slowly, tucking her hair behind her ear. A thing she does when she's nervous.

I made my way to the car, she followed my movements quickly. Surely eager to hear of what happened. I am rarely shaken up like this.

But the situation took all of those emotions I had and stripped me raw. Kissing him left me bare. Surely he knows now. What if this ruins everything?

I slammed my door shut, making her flinch. I apologized quickly, wishing I had better control of my emotions.

"Bo, tell me."

"Me and Westley kissed."

"W-what?" She said with her mouth open, "Then why are we here and you guys aren't making passionate gay sex?"