Mercy on my Soul

EIGHTEEN

TWO-WEEKS-LATER

"So what's going on with you and Arlo?" I asked Rose as she does my nails on my bed. Ryder was in the bathroom taking a shower while we talked. Rose gives me a small smile. 

"Arlo is my first love. I want to be with him but I'm scared to tell him. I don't want him to get hurt because of me. I mean you should have seen how Ryder reacted when he found out that I was messing around with him. It was adorable," She says with a smile. I smile back even though her eyes were on my hand. She lets out a heavy breath. "It seems everyone I love or get close to dies." I look down with regret. 

"I'm sorry, Rose," She looks up at me causing me to look at her. 

"I wasn't talking about Zane. Yeah sure he was my brother but he also was a really bad guy. He attacked you. You are more family to me than he ever was. I don't moron his death." I swallow harshly. 

"You should. I mean he was still your brother." She rolls her eyes. 

"Zane never saw it like that. I was never his sister. I was always Ryder's sister." I look back down to my hands. 

"Ryder morons his death. I can tell. He hasn't really been sleeping," 

"Ryder was forced to raise us like he was our father but he wasn't allowed to show any emotions. He failed to do so. I mean the love he has for me? It amazes me that even in his shitty life that he was able to find the slightest bit of love. Ryder loved Zane but Zane never made it easy. He wanted everything Ryder had. He took it forcefully. I knew it was only a matter of time before he would die by Ryder's hands." The bathroom door opens causing us to look. Ryder stood in front of the mirror in only grey sweatpants. His eyes go on mine and he gives me a small smile. 

"Are you two having fun?" He asked. I smile at him. 

"Yes, we are," Rose answered. He chuckles as he opens a drawer. I look back at Rose and what she was doing. 

"Baby?" I look back at Ryder. He had the doors under the sink open as he looked at me generally confused. 

"What?" He looks back at whatever. 

"I buy you tampons every month so you are set but there are four boxes in here." He looks back at me. "Something wrong with them?" I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out. I let out a nervous laugh. I clear my throat as he stands up and crosses his arms. 

"I wanted extras. I use the whole box every period and end up asking Rose for some. I wanted to make sure I didn't need to worry about it." He looks at Rose as do I. She gives me a confused look before looking at her brother. 

"It's a girl thing." He nods. 

"Okay," He goes back to what he was doing and I look at Rose with a nervous look but she gives me wide eyes. 

"Azura," She hisses in a whisper. I glance at Ryder to see him brushing his teeth. His phone rings and he answers it while shutting the bathroom door. I look back at Rose. "Why did you just have me lie to him?" 

"Because I'm scared to tell him," I say quietly. She gives me a confused look before looking at my stomach. Her eyes go wider. 

"You're freaking pregnant?" She whispered shouted. 

"Yes, but I don't want to keep it," She scuffs. 

"I don't blame you but if you don't tell Ryder, you are going to be forced to keep it and he will still find out." I groan. 

"I was just hoping to get the surgery without him knowing," 

"Not a good idea," I look down. 

"I don't know what to do,"