It was already 10:30 in the morning nang magising ako. Napuyat kasi ako kakaiyak kagabi. I feel so drained and empty these past few days until now. Ugh! Nawawalan na 'ko ng gana sa lahat. Napa face palm na lang tuloy ako.
"Aeki? Are you okay my little sis?" rinig kong tanong ni kuya Ashton mula sa pintuan. Nanatili lang akong nakahiga at nakatalikod mula sa kanya. rinig ko ang kanyang pagbuntong hininga at naupo sa kama ko.
"tara sa church Ae" aya nya. "sama ka na sa 'min nina mama?" muli nyang tanong.
"next time na lang po 'ko kuya Ash." wika ko nang hindi sya nililingon.
"aayusin ko muna ang sarili ko."
"hindi ikaw 'yan Ae." malungkot nyang saad. "miss ka na ni Lord, I pray na makabalik ka na agad." miss ko na rin po sya kuya. Miss ko na ang presensya nya.
"'wag mong hayaang hipan ng enemy ang fire mo sa kanya, Ae." dugtong nya pa.
nanatili lang akong tahimik at nakikinig sa kanya. Ba't ganon? Parang kahit anong pag ch-cheer up sa 'kin ng mga tao, wala ng epekto?
"lies 'yan ng enemy Ae, para mapa-layo ka kay Lord. 'yang mga negative na nangyayari sa'yo at nararamdaman mo gawa 'yan ni satan para manghina ka at hindi mag-grow spiritually. Sinasabi nya sa'yo na wala kang kwenta, walang halaga, walang nagmamahal pero lahat ng 'yon ay kasinungalingan." saad nya.
"You are a child of God. A masterpiece. You're His warrior and you are more than a conqueror. Kaya hahayaan mo bang matalo ka nya? Hahayaan mo bang matalo ka ng enemy? Wake up Ae! Hindi ito ang panahon para manlamig at sumuko. Kung kelan tanaw mo na ang finish line saka ka pa ba titigil sa pagtakbo?"
tagus-tagusan lahat ng sinasabi sa 'kin ni kuya. Masakit pero okay lang. Sign 'yun na hindi pa 'ko manhid dahil nakakaramdam pa 'ko. At sa tingin ko, may gustong iparating sa'kin si Lord at si kuya ang ginamit nya bilang instrument para ma enlighten ako. Hayst. Lalaban o lalaban?
"let me pray for you, Ae." aniya at tumango na lang ko. ramdam kong ipinatong nya ang kanyang kamay sa 'king ulo at nagsimula ng mag-pray. ramdam Ko ang presence ni Lord na nangungusap sa 'kin. Yes Lord, please heal me. I know you're the only one who can mend my broken heart and soul.
nag thank-you ako kay kuya matapos nya 'kong ipag-pray at nagpaalam na syang umalis. Biglang gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Thank you Lord for your amazing grace!
nagbabadya na namang tumulo ang luha ko. Biglang nag-ring ang aking cellphone kaya agad ko itong kinuha at hindi sinagot nang makitang ang cell leader kong si ate Nam ang natawag. Ayoko dahil nahihiya ako. Lalo na kay Lord. Matagal na kasi akong hindi uma-attend sa church pati ministry ko, napabayaan ko na.
'Hayst. Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo Ae?' sabi ko sa isip ko.
umupo ako at sumandal sa headboard ng aking kama. Nag-browse na lang ako sa 'king fb acc. At nag log-out din agad nang makitang dumaan sa 'king news feed ang picture ng ex boyfriend kong si Luhan kasama ang bago nyang girl friend na si Venice na may caption na 'I finally found someone' napa irap na lang ako sa kawalan. Wait, I'm not bitter huh. Naka move on na 'to bes. Alam ko naman na may mas better na inilaan si Lord sa 'kin.
aksidente kong na click ang music player at biglang nag-play ang isang kanta.
(A/N: kindly listen to the song YOU Found Me by Switchfoot while reading this part. God bless you)
'I was lookin' for
an answer
for a way to stop
the pain
when you came
to me with healin
'I was lookin' for a fix
when you broke
these chains
what a beautiful feelin'
'I was lookin' for a way back home...'
papatayin ko na sana ang tugtog pero parang may kung anong pumipigil sa'kin kaya hinayaan ko na lang.
'when I found
healin' for my
wounded heart
I found mercy in your open arms
I found freedom
when you set me free....'
ipinikit ko na lang ang aking mga mata at dinama ang bawat lyrics ng kanta.
'I was looking for solutions
When my world went up in flames
But you walked me through the fire
I was holding onto anger
With my fist around the reigns
You were holding me tighter'
'I was looking for a way back home..'
I can feel God is embracing me right now. Here He is, comforting me. Yes Lord, I really miss you. I really miss your presence... I want to go back.. I want to be with You. But I didn't know where and how do I start.
'when I found
healin' for my
wounded heart
I found mercy in your open arms
I found freedom
when you set me free
I found myself when you found me
When you found me....'
hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na pala 'ko. Hindi ko na rin napigilan at napahagulhol na 'ko ng iyak.
'I was running reckless (when you found me)
Now I'm running home (when you found me)
I was running away (when you found me)
And now I'm running home (when you found me)
Now I finally found redemption
You found me and You made me whole
Yeah, I didn't know that I've been missing
Ti'll you found me.
When you found me
'cause I found healing from my wounded heart
I found mercy in your open arms
I found freedom when you set me free
I found myself when you found me
When You found me....'
Lord, napakabuti mo. Kahit patuloy akong lumalayo sa'yo nandyan ka pa rin para sa 'kin. Hindi mo 'ko iniwan ni pinabayaan. Tapos ako walang ibang ginawa kundi saktan ka at layuan. Hindi ko 'to deserve. Hindi ko deserve ang pagmamahal mo. Kaya bakit? Bakit?
"you deserve it my child. You are worth dyin' and lovin' for"
napamulat ako nang may marinig na isang tinig. ramdam ko, narito sya. Narito si Lord. Kita ko rin ang pagtaas ng aking balahibo. You are truly great Lord.
'farewell to all my resentment, all my discontentment
You're forgiven and I let it go
Farewell to darkness and to silence
Anger from the violence is forgiven and I let it go
farewell to all my resentment, all my discontentment
You're forgiven and I let it go
Farewell to darkness and to silence
Anger from the violence is forgiven and I let it go
When You found me....~'
natapos ang kanta at umiiyak pa rin ako. Siguro, hindi talaga aksidente na mapakinggan ko ang kantang 'yon. God has something for me. Bigla namang humangin ng malakas. Naka bukas pa naman ang bintana ko rito sa kwarto. Napansin ko ang isang sticky note na nilipad sa 'king pwesto. Kinuha ko ito at binasa ang nakasulat.
"Whenever you feel unloved, unimportant or insecure. Remember to whom you belong." -ephesians 2:19
napangiti ako. Ito 'yung isa sa mga favorite verse ko. But Wait, ang alam ko ay nakasama 'to na naitapon nung nag general cleaning sina yaya eh.
Napatingin ako sa may bintana. Still, thank you Lord for reminding me. Thank you Lord for never get tired of me until YOU found me. Kaya yes, magpapatuloy ako at lalaban pa. Dahil si Lord nga, hindi nagsawa sa'kin. At patuloy akong hinanap. Ako pa kaya? Aja!
"I'm a child of God! you can't fool and defeat me satan. So back off!" madiing sambit ko bago tuluyang nag-ayos ng sarili at lumabas ng kwarto.
I guess, this is the time to be serious on my relationship with God.
A/N: PLS. TELL ME IF MAY MABASA OR MAKITA MAN PO KAYONG ERRORS OR TYPOS. KAMSA! MWAPS!
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Compilation Of One Shot Stories (Will Be Under Editing Soon)
Short StoryI wrote these in the years 2018 to 2019. These are my first stories in the spiritual genre. Maybe there are still a lot of flaws that I haven't edited, so please bear with me. I just would like to share these with you, brethren. Shalom! "In everythi...
