Safe Place

8: 10,000 Hours

DISCLAIMER: I (OBVIOUSLY) DON'T OWN "10,000 HOURS". ALSO, I KNOW IT DOESN'T WORK WITH THE TIMELINE AND EVERYTHING (IT CAME OUT IN 2019) BUT, UH, JUST GO WITH IT!

Natasha's POV: 

Why am I so nervous?

I linger in the shower. My mind keeps replaying my interaction with Wanda - her pale skin, her doe eyes, the way little bits of her fresh-earth-brown hair hung in her eyes.

Wanda smiling.

Wanda complimenting my hair.

I scrub my scarlet curls extra well, her voice playing on a loop in my mind. This is too much. I can't be crushing on a younger girl grieving the loss of her twin and best friend, a girl who I've basically just met and know next to nothing about. That checks too many of the 'desperate' and 'creeper' boxes. 

I get out of the shower and towel off, but getting dressed proves to be its own process. Sweats? Too grungy. Leggings? Too casual. Sundress? Too fancy. Skirt? Too preppy.

Eventually, I pull on a pair of black jeans, a white tee-shirt, and bright blue Converse. It's simple yet classy - I think. I hope. I throw my hair into a floppy bun on top of my head, glop on far more makeup than I usually wear, and I'm out my door with my purse and keys in hand.

"Wanda, you ready?" I call down the hallway. I can feel myself closing off, not wanting to show any emotion. My face is blank and masklike, I'm sure of it. My walls are built.

I can't let my walls down, not when I've just stacked them up again. I can't afford that. There are countless reasons that like to float around my head, reminding me not to get close to anyone, not to let anyone in.

"Just a sec!" Wanda yells in reply, her Sokovian accent thick and sultry. Something deep inside me bubbles like soda fizz, the kind that wants to pour out.

I sit down on a fat armchair and massage my temples. I just opened up to Bruce, and look where that got me - a lack of classic Nat charm, not much joy, and him gone indefinitely. Wanda is still getting over losing her literal other half, and she's three years younger, an innocent little daisy. 

I've been taught my entire life to keep my emotions locked inside, in a steel safe, and never to let anyone in - not even give them the keys. 

I tried to change, I tried to love, and it went horribly. 

And I'm trying to open up to my friends - but let's be honest, I'm awful at it. I could never have an emotionally intimate relationship, or just a relationship, for that matter. Especially not now. 

Especially with Wanda.

I sigh a huge huff of a sigh and put my earbuds in, trying to drown myself out. Of course, the first song that starts playing is "10,000 Hours", by Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber. It reminds me so much of how I feel about Wanda.

I want to know more about her, everything about her. I know her life wasn't great, or even normal like the girl in the song's, but neither was mine. Every word reminds me of Wanda. 

This is way too far, way too fast, even for me - a severe love-at-first-sight-er. I yank out the earbuds, shove them into my pocket, and jump when I see Wanda standing in front of me.

"Um," she says. "I'm ready to go?"

My whole body goes stiff, and my whole face goes rigid. "Cool. Let's go then."