Dave woke up in the morning feeling like P-diddy, just like his Grandpa's song said.
Everybody literally loved everyone in that fucking family. You know why? Because they were all hot and had magical powers.
As Dave prepared breakfast alone, these three kids watched him from outside their window. It was mad weird.
Dave took notice of the kids "Hi children"
"Hi Davey Poo" the three said all together
"Are you guys the kids who all have a crush on my younger cousin?"
"No" They said all together again.
"Well then who tf are you guyssssss"
"I'm Krist Novoselic" "I'm Jimmy Neutron" "I'm that kid"
Dave giggled "Omg so cool"
"Can you tell us about your family?" Krist asked
"Yeah sure I'm gonna sing because I'm talented okay?"
"OKAY" they all said together
"Okay my house is gonna help me out because it's magical so Drawers Doors Floors Gah lets go"
"This is our house We've got three generations So full of sexiness A hotness of its own tiny kind This is my family A perfect thing yeah yeah So many people and everyone is hot
WHOA But let's be clear, Paul Seductor runs this home WHOA He's my grandpa not yours no WHOA And every year our family things grow There's just a lot more you've simply got to know, so
Welcum to the Family of people The home of the family of people (we're on our way) Where all the members don't take sleep pills I'm part of the family of people"
By now the four of them found themselves in the town square right next to a mural of the family of people.
"Omg it's them" "What are the gifts power things" "I don't know which is which, bitch"
Dave scoffed "Alright, relax relax. Don't do drugs. Stay in school"
"Okay" the three said at once
Dave continued singing
"My Aunt Hayley Her mood affects the weather When she's pissed off It starts to rain steamy piss Now my Uncle Kurt-"
"WE DON'T TALK ABOUT KURT COBAIN" everyone in the town interrupted to sing wtf mean. Yet Dave continued singing afterward
"They say he told the future And now he's been gone for the past 10 years"
Dave pointed at his mom "Oh! And that's my mom, Gwen Stafani Here's her deal WHOA The truth is, she can heal you with her spit WHOA She spits in her food for real And if you impressed, imagine how I feel"
Gwen kissed Dave on the cheek, which Dave ended up puking in response too.
"it started off with a kiss how did it end up like this?" Dave thought as he puked.
after he was done he continued on parading through the town and singing.
"Welcome to the family of people The home of the family of people Where all the members don't take sleeping pills I'm part of the family of people
Two guys got horny for the family of people So now they're part of the family of people
So yeah, Uncle Billie married Hayley And my dad, Rivers, married Gwen That's how Paul Seductor became grandpa of the people"
THEN PAUL SEDUCTOR APPEARED AND STARTED SINGING YASS THAT MAN
"We swear to always Help those around us And earn the miracle And some candles Yas this town keeps growing It's pretty cool yeah But work and sexiness will keep the candle burning And each new generation will keep the miracle burning"
Paul Seductor then disappeared.
"Wait!" Krist whined "Who's the sister and people"
Dave meowed
"Okay okay okay There's so many fucking kids So listen well and suck tits But don't suck yeah ANyway I think it's time for a grandkid roundup
Cousin Vic Fuentes can hear some nasty things Emo Pete shapeshifts Wes Borland gets his gift today My older siblings Fred and Twilight Sparkle One rapper, one graceful Perfect in every way
Twilight Sparkle She can grow some flowers and the town goes wild Twilight Sparkle She's the perfect purple horse FRED DURST FRED DURST And Fred strong The rapping and the strong do no wrong
That's life in the family of people Now you know the family of people Where all the people don't take sleeping pills That's who we are in the family of people Bye"
Dave started to walk back to his house, but then Jimmy Neutron screamed
"Wait literally stop what about you and your gift"
Dave got nervous and continued singing. They started walking back toward THE BIG HOUSE
"Hoe Well, I got go, the life in the people (Whoa) But now you all know the family of people (WHoa) I never meant this to get autobiographical (Ewhoa) SO umm let's talk about my family yeah
It starts with Grandpa Paul And then Aunt Hayley, she pisses and shines-"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU DAVE" the kids screamed
"My mom Gwen Stafani can make you feel better with a dash of saliva-"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU DAVE"
"My dad Rivers, well There's rumors that he's a virgin yeah"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU DAVE"
"Hey, you said you wanna hear what everyone does I got sisters and cousins and-"
"DAVID GROHL"
"My emo cousin Pete won't stop until he turns you on today!"
"DAVID GROHL!"
"My cousin Vic Fuentes can probably hear someone fucking a mile away"
"DAVID GROHL!"
As Dave was backing up toward his house, he spotted the man who was dating his sister shocked emoji.
Oh and of course he sung about it
"Look, it's Mister Kellin Quinn, hey You can marry my sis Twilight if you wanna but-"
"DAVID GROHL!"
"Between you and me, she's a cummy whore bladder slut Yo I've said too much and thank you but I really have to go"
"DAVID GROHL!"
"My family's so gorgeous"
"DAVID GROHL"
"And I'm in the family, so"
"DAVID GROHL"
"Uh"
"DAVID GROHL"
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