BTS Sickfics [Slow Updates]

Truth

So most people were worried about what happened to me. I'll spit it out because I don't even care anymore.

In one of the fanfics I read, the author asked for some requests. So I requested something that I enjoy according to my taste. It didn't even have any instructions given about what kind of requests are accepted. After I requested mine, she/he got mad at me and said it's not pleasant for many readers.

Smh at least there needs to be a description about his/her book and details about what kind of requests they accept! Some people indeed have different mind states (or whatever it's called) but you need to know that there are people who think differently (like me). 

For example, I'm a person who likes to write something dark (I know that sounds creepy as hell) but that's my mind state. And some people like reading and writing peaceful ffs. I won't blame him/her for saying that. But the author needs to know at least to mention something about his/her style of writing (is it dark or bright).

I got kind of upset after receiving some bad comments about my request. That's why my social anxiety crept onto me again.

That's right. I have social anxiety. I get it when I do something wrong. In real life, people would think I'm a social person who likes to walk around and have a fun time with others. But no. I don't enjoy it, to be honest. I prefer to be alone. I'm an introvert. When I told my friends about it, they didn't believe me.

Whenever I get some kind of hate from social media, I don't get enough courage to come back to that specific app. I would even delete that app from my phone, and afterward, blame myself for being such a mess. The same thing happened in Wattpad. After that, I'm afraid to comment, request or write stories. Before I post the chapter, I think to myself "what if people don't like this?"

Now I'm afraid to read stories too. I used to read different ffs to distract myself from other bullshits but now I lost that chance too. I didn't want to come back but my notifications were blasting. That's why I decided to gather up my guts and write this update to let you know about what happened to me.

The reason why I like Suga is this. He also went through the same problem as mine. Both of us know how it feels. And seeing him now gives me hope. I hope that every problem I have would go away very soon. I hate living a life like this.

I'm nervous about publishing this chapter. What if I get hated again? A single mistake can lead you to a disaster. So I would like to apologize if something I said in this update made you angry. You are free to vent. I won't come back here for some time.

-KiKi xoxo