When I was younger, I was scared of the dark. Not really the dark per-say, but what's in the dark. The consistent thoughts of what would grab my ankle as I ran for a midnight snack, or if someone was hiding behind the shower curtain while I was going pee. To be honest with you, I never truly remember over coming those fears. However, those thoughts turned to being afraid of the darkness in my thoughts rather then in real life. I struggle with severe generalized anxiety, with anxiety comes depression. When you're younger it gets written off as being shy, but in reality everything in life terrifies you, and how can someone especially so young put that into words for someone. You see all these people who literally have no clue what it's like to have a panic attack, to be deathly scared of running into the gas station to pay for gas, to have to remember how to breathe when you have to talk in front of anyone, who can't sleep unless they shut off their brain first, because night brings all of the thoughts, mistakes, and highlights of the day and combines them into a string of what could I have done different scenarios. It's so hard to watch those people thrive, while you're stuck thinking which way is up? I'm sorry for all the ones like me who is sitting here now thinking... damn which way IS up? Even now I don't know, everyday is a coping game, and everyday I find out new things I'm sensitive to and have to learn how to suppress my anxiety so I can actually live?Such as: light sensitivities, hypersensitivity to touch, noises, even words that can trigger me. How does one live with all of those on a day to day basis, basically having severe anxiety to life? The findings from meta-analysis suggest that patients with anxiety disorders are more likely to have suicidal ideations, and any type of suicidal behaviors. So the question that follows is, how do you learn to live with anxiety? How do you learn to not get lost in your own mind every goddamn day of every goddamn second? How do you figure out which way is up so you can finally breathe? Well, let's find out together.
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Lost in your own mind
Non-FictionIt's a hurricane at 3am that just won't stop, a rollercoaster falling and never going up. It's hard to find the positives when you live with anxiety, depression, ect. Sometimes though, sometimes Hurricane ends in sunshine, and the rollercoaster fina...
