Eyes of Perception

Chapter 10

Ekaterina decided it was in the best interest of the entire bank to give Childe a week off from work. Apparently, his temper had been insufferably short lately, and the entire hall seemed to be filled with a threatening aura that came overflowing from his office. He'd tried to protest, to point out that he was still capable of work and would probably feel much worse if he didn't have anything to do, but Ekaterina wasn't having it. She kicked him out of the bank then and there with about as much compassion as a block of ice could have. 

Still, he... had to admit that she had a point. His first day off had been spent sleeping, mostly, which he beat himself up over later. (He slept in for too long. How could he do that? How could he waste so much time on something so useless when there were things to be done, steps to be taken?) He made up for it later, though. He'd bolted straight out of the city, the wind tearing at him as he ran, relishing in the freedom.

He missed this. He had better things to do, (doing his job as a Harbinger. Making sure Zhongli was safe.) but he missed this feeling nonetheless. It was relieving in more ways than one, like taking a breath of fresh air after being buried underground. The stretch to his muscles was one that he enjoyed, the burn after trekking up small mountains was one he welcomed. The view from the top of the mountain was a beautiful one, showing the harbor in all its glory.

(He was going to ruin this city. He was going to steal their god's gnosis. He was going to be the cause of its downfall.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't bring himself to follow through. He loved the city, its culture, its people. He wanted to stay here, to protect it all.

He couldn't. The Tsaritsa would have his head. She'd kill him if he didn't follow her orders, or worse, kill his family.

He didn't want to do this. He wanted to cherish it, to live here, to find Zhongli and explain it all and apologize and pray that the consultant would have him back.

He was going to destroy this city, and Zhongli would watch him do it. He was going to hurt Zhongli.)

No, he couldn't do this right now. He couldn't go spiraling. The thoughts were getting too loud, too personal. He loved this city, yes, and it felt like a second home, but his loyalty to the Tsaritsa came first. No matter how much it hurt him, no matter how much it hurt Zhongli, he was going to follow through with the Tsaritsa's goal. He couldn't deal with this right now.

Instead, he searched for the nearest camp of hilichurls and strutted into it as if he owned the place. He waited until they'd all noticed him and came charging at him, only stepping out of the way at the last possible second. He manifested a dagger of hydro in his hand as he moved, slashing the nearest hilichurl through the throat, watching in satisfaction as it crumpled to the ground, dead. 

He turned on his heel, a whirlwind of movement as an identical dagger manifested in his other hand. The remaining hilichurls came hurtling at him again, though each movement was carefully avoided and the flash of hydro blades was all it took for the others to drop to the ground, too. Even when a mitachurl came, called in by the loud holler of the now-fallen, hilichurls, Childe didn't stop, his blades skillfully slicing through mitachurl muscles, cutting through the tendons as if they were nothing until the mitachurl, too, folded over before keening over into the blood-stained ground.

That did nothing to satisfy his hunger for blood, his need to hurt something before he accidentally hurt someone who mattered. So he found more camps, found more monsters to tear through until there was nothing and his whole body burned from the exertion and still he needed more, more, more. The sun was high in the sky, glaring down at him, but he didn't stop. His uniform was dirty and bloodstained, but he didn't stop. His hair was matted and his vision seemed to be tinted red, but he didn't stop. He kept going, kept fighting until the stars were peaking out and he couldn't feel his body anymore and all worries faded away, replaced by a feeling of simple numbness.