Eyes of Perception

Chapter 22

He didn't give himself time to think before he tore from the room, letting his rage fuel him. 

If he had stopped to think, he would've seen the way the life seemed to seep from Zhongli's eyes as the man collapsed to the ground. He would've seen how even in his moments of weakness, Zhongli was reaching for him, trying to stop him. He would've seen how the look of agony on Zhongli's face wasn't pain-induced, but rather caused by fear. He would've seen how, even now, even after Childe had taken what was most important, Zhongli was still trying to keep him here.

But he didn't. 

He fled, like the coward he was, because if he stayed behind, that would mean he'd have to untangle this mess, and he couldn't do it. He just... he just couldn't. Because Zhongli betrayed him, because Zhongli did it all for a contract, because he never meant anything to Zhongli and it was all just his delusions. Because he'd been prepared to desert the Tsaritsa for him, and in return, all he got was heartbreak.

He was out of the house in a matter of seconds, and sprinting down the street to the harbor before everything fully processed. He pushed through the crowds like a madman, the gnosis still clutched in hand, and ignored the shouts of protest from the people around him. A group of millelith tried to stop him, yelling something about everyone having to be detained because of the death of Rex Lapis, but he didn't stop.

Rex Lapis isn't dead, he wanted to yell back. He's just a lowly scumbag that values contracts more than the lives of his people, who uses everyone without remorse and tosses them out when he's done.

He kept running. 

Like his life depended on it, like he'd die if he stopped, like the world was ending around him, he kept running, faster, faster, until the familiar outline of the harbor came into view, until the crowds parted and less people were around him, until the only thing before him was the flimsy railing that was meant to separate him from the water. He leaped over it without a second thought.

Somewhere in the distance, he thought he heard a scream of terror, as if someone was watching a murder take place. Ah.. right, the typical method of transportation in Liyue didn't include throwing oneself over the railing into the crashing waves. No matter.

He called for the energy of his vision to keep him afloat, adjusting the water at his feet to push him forward. He rode the waves like a madman, pushing the hydro to go faster, to propel him forward, to get him as far away from Liyue  as possible.

Liyue... Not even three hours ago, he'd considered this place to be a second home. He'd thought of it to be his second chance at life, his chance to be happy. And he was, for a while, with Ekaterina and the bank and Liyue's people and Zhongli. But he'd let himself get weak, and he'd spent too much time here anyway. It was about time he returned to the cold grasp of Snezhnaya. He headed north without hesitation. Snezhnaya had to be there somewhere, he'd figure out his exact trajectory later. Right now, he just needed to get away, as far away as possible. 

It was relieving to use his vision, almost like taking a breath of fresh air after being stuck inside for weeks. It was as if he'd been holding it back for so long, and now, the water finally had the chance to crash through the dam that was holding it back. He pushed himself farther, using his vision to manipulate the water beneath him to bend to his will. He should conserve his energy, he knew that, but he couldn't hold himself back, not now. There was too much he wanted to do, too much that he had to release, so many things to say but not enough words to say them all.

He was hurt, and like a wounded animal, he lashed out and fled. How pathetic. He should've been able to handle it, to suck it up and deal with the consequences of being used twice. But of course he didn't. Of course he had to make it worse. It was in his nature. He was a Harbinger, a monster of the Abyss. He was raised to bring destruction, to make his enemies hurt more than he did, and that's just what he did. And now, he'd have to make himself hurt more than he was hurting by Zhongli's hand, because he wouldn't allow some- some man have that much power over him. He wouldn't allow someone he knew for barely a year to control how much he could feel.