Eyes of Perception

Chapter 23

The Tsaritsa had been generous enough to provide him with a carriage that took him from Zapolyarny Palace all the way to Morepesok, and his salary had been generous enough that he didn't need to work another day in his life if he didn't want to. All the perks of being a Harbinger - not that they applied to him anymore.

When he arrived, he had thought the house was empty. As he'd done for many years before, he fished the spare key from underneath a flowerpot to unlock the door and step inside. It was nice to know that some things didn't change, even with time. His parents still kept a spare key, just in case. Snezhnaya was still as cold as ever. And he still felt nothing but emptiness after returning home from missions.

He had stood in the silent house for a few minutes, still in the hanfu and all, simply staring at the place. It had been so long since he'd last been here, and yet, everything looked the same. Still the same carpets covering the floor, still the same painting hung over a hole in the wall. Perhaps it was just him that was changing. Perhaps, for everyone else, this past year had been the same as ever, and it had only been a wreck for him. Or perhaps he was just being delusional again, and nothing changed, not this time, not ever. 

Hydro visions were granted to those who felt the constant need to grow, since water was an element that was in constant movement. It kept changing, no matter what, and maybe that's why he thought that he would keep changing, too. But he came from the nation of cryo, and cryo was cold and cruel, but unchanging. It remained the same, no matter what. And after all, who was he to deny the nature of ice, when for years, that was all that he knew?

That had to be it, then. Whatever changes he'd gone through were temporary, and didn't matter, Not anymore. Whatever he'd been through, it was over and done with, and it wouldn't affect him. He wouldn't let it. Those changes were of the past, and he should forget about them now. They would only do him harm.

Only when the door creaked open behind him did he realize that he'd been standing in the hallway for archons knew how long now. He'd turned to the sound just to come face-to-face with Tonia, who froze in her tracks as soon as she realized it was him. He watched numbly as her expression morphed from confusion to relief to joy, and the bag she carried fell to the ground as she wrapped her hands around him instead.

Ah... right. This was where he belonged. In Snezhnaya, in his little home in Morepesok, with his kid siblings. This was where he should have been all along. This was his home. Not some foreign nation, not Liyue Harbor, and most definitely not his space with Zhongli. Only this place, only his family and Morepesok and Snezhnaya. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else should matter.

Tentatively, he raised his hands to return the hug, but his body felt weak, like he was seconds away from collapsing. What was this feeling? Relief? Fear? Pain? Joy? He didn't know. He didn't think he ever would. His arms around Tonia tightened, and he buried his face into her shoulder, ruffling her hair in affection. She squeezed back even harder. 

He only let go when his arms felt too weak to keep holding on, and even then, she stayed wrapped around him a little longer. Matted locks of hair stuck to her face when she finally pulled away, and Ajax almost thought he spotted tear tracks" on her cheeks. A trick of light, he told himself. Nothing more. 

"So, I take it you missed me?" Ajax asked with a grin that was far too cheeky and far too overexaggerated for his liking. 

Tonia stared up at him through teary eyes, but the corner of her lips curled upwards to match his smile. "Absolutely not. I wish you never returned."

He patted her head affectionately. Her hair was no longer the mess of curls that it had been when he'd left. It was sleek now, combed and straightened out, but still wavy. "Glad to know my kid sister's humor got better."