Becoming Kennedy

3- Makeover Montage

I swear what happened next was straight out of a teenage rom com. You know when they do a makeover montage and a top 20 pop song plays in the background? That’s literally what happened, except the pop song was playing in my head and unfortunately it happened in real time. This means that I had to go through hours of trying clothes on and taking them off and trying more on and taking more off and going to one store after another after another! It was endless.

Now I don’t mind shopping at all but after an hour I get tired and my self esteem is in the shitter because of endless racks of clothes that don’t fit right. Most of the stores we went to were catered to a size 2 with a couple zeros tacked onto the end of each price tag. I was on the taller side of things, around 5’10 and I had a pretty athletic build from all the skiing, I was in almost perfect shape but I wasn’t what LA would qualify as “skinny”. But there was no way in hell I was going to let that get to me!

It was made clear within the first few minutes of shopping with my new squad that I was going to need a lot of coaching in the ways of Cali fashion. Everything I touched was “not my color” or “out of season” and apparently I’m a summer? Whatever the fuck that means! After the first two stores I basically turned into a living mannequin. We walked in and Stella grabbed me by the wrist and started to lead me somewhere “Where are we going?” I protested. She looked over shoulder and rolled her eyes at me, “You are obviously a lost cause so we’re just going to need to do everything for you.” we stopped in front of the dressing rooms. “Go in here and wait, we will give you clothes and you are going to try on everything we give you, no protesting! Also one of us needs to approve before you change.” This was absolutely ridiculous. I mean the clothes were cute (and way out of my price range) and the girls honestly seemed like they wanted to help, they just didn’t have the best way of going about it.

After having 7 full outfits approved by Abigail and co. it was time to leave. We were walking up to the cash register when I pulled her aside. “Abigail, I really appreciate you styling me and taking me around all afternoon…...but I don’t think I can afford any of this.” My voice trailed off at the end, to be honest I felt a little embarrassed but I wasn’t sure why. What do I care that I’m not a gazillionaire, I’ve been happy with our financial situation since I was born! But for some reason I wanted to be enough for Abigail. There was a part of me that wanted her to like me and approve of me and accept me, no matter how absurd that idea was.

“Isn’t your dad like a big time talent scout for Sony? What do you mean you can’t afford it?” This was true, my dad had been finding great emerging talent from the more remote parts of the midwest for the past 10 years and shipping them off to LA to become a somebody, that’s why we had to move down here, he got a promotion and they needed him at home base.

“I mean yeah, we make decent money, but my parents don’t just give me cash or pay for my credit card. They believe you need to earn your luxuries. I got all my spending money in Colorado by working as a ski instructor.” Abigail looked horrified at the mention of a part time job. I bet she couldn’t even imagine having to earn her money the hard way. “You know what, consider it a moving to LA present or something! I mean, we picked it all out for you, and are making you get it so it only seems  fitting that we pay for it.” I was in shock. The total for these clothes had to come in well over $3000. “Abigail I couldn’t...it’s way too much...I can just…” all of a sudden I feel a finger on my lips and I realize she’s...shushing me? “Can it, Colorado, I insist. Don’t be rude. Just say “thank you Abigail you are the best friend I could have ever hoped for” and take the clothes so we can please get on with our lives.”

I am in shock. I walk out of the store (wearing one of the outfits that was just purchased for me) in a daze. The clothes I have just on my body are probably more expensive than my entire wardrobe. “Listen Colorado,” Abigail steps in front of me snapping me out of my daze “this wasn’t all for nothing, okay? We have some very special friends who are back in town and we are all going out tonight.”

Special friends? What the hell does she mean, special friends? Did I just unknowingly join some weird LA cult? Just the way she said ‘special friends’ was so ominous.

“COLORADO! Focus!” I really need to stop zoning out, people will start to think I’m crazy.  “Anyways, this is the first time you’re meeting them, and it’s very important that you look your absolute best. I will not have you fuck this up for us.”  I am so confused, but at this point I decide to just go with it.

“So here’s the plan, we’ll come by yours to get ready around seven…” Abigail starts. “I don’t know if that’s the best idea.” I already regret interrupting her, but after seeing her palace of a house, I was a little reluctant to have all the girls over to my four bedroom, beach side, two story house.  “And why is that, Colorado?” Abigail says in almost a purr. “I just...we just moved in, and there are boxes everywhere and my parents are so annoying! You won’t want to deal with them, I promise.” That seemed good enough to me. Who wants to deal with someone elses parents breathing down your neck!? I certainly wouldn’t.

“I don’t see why that’s an issue, I bet your little midwestern parents are just sweet as sugar.” Abigail was being so condescending it was almost tangible. I feel like I’m going to need to get used to this kind of treatment. Might as well just get the hard part over with. “Fine, my place at 7. I’ll text you guys the address.” Stella took this opportunity to chime in for the first time in ages, “Oh! We have a group chat, we can add you to it.” Of course they have a group chat.

“Great!  Sounds like a plan. Are we going to go get dinner or something?” The entire group stared at her wide eyed for a few seconds and then simultaneously burst into laughter. “Are we going to get dinner or something?” Parsley asked in what I assume was supposed to be my voice. “Oh Honey,” Becky said with a pout “you’re not in Colorado anymore. When we say we’re going out, we go out.” I don’t really know what that means, but I think I’m scared? But maybe also a little bit excited.