Words Sung By A Weeping Soul

PARADOX

I stand atop
Atop of the world
Pfft nope not the world
The world too huge and rotten to be stood upon
Even if I stand the foundations falter
rotten woods splintering
The cemented pillars cracking turning into powdered industrial dust
Breaking down
Taking me along for the ride
As I fall down
for a second i fall

I blink

Then I stop
Buried under rotting wood,rusted support beams,broken cemented walls.
I lay there buried.
Somebody's home?

I hope not.

Now laying under Tonnes of immovable weight I wonder
Wondering is what does when one wants to run away from reality.
A perfect solution for my broken self bleeding out.

Hope they don't find me.
Wonder wonder I wonder
I was wondering before I fell too.
Standing atop the rotting world
Looking at the blinking lights
Haloed buildings buzzing electricity
The hum of the world
It's citizens walking
Having a destination
Walking with a goal
Having purpose

Yet here I am
A wraith of a human
A being with emotions fizzled out
A paradox
A paradox that pondered atop amidst the rotten glittering world

I watched watched watched
People walking
Walking and walking
Constantly
The city blinked awake in nights
Still People walked
It blinked awake again with another face in the mornings
Still People walked tired
Tired yet walking

I stood there grounded
Yet I floated
Floated in Nothingness
Wondering how
How my broken self remained broken?
How the people walked with purpose?
A purpose that I lack.
Lacking lacking .
Mediocre.
Useful yet useless.
What am I?
Why do I float when I remain ground?
Why do I float instead?
Instead of walking Why do I float?

A paradox.
Why do I remain a paradox?

A paradox breathing in the last dusty breaths of life and yet floating Still?

Wondering
Wondering
Until I blink out.
I blink out of existence.
A paradox with glassy eyes reflecting the blue skies it can see no longer.

A paradox.

-laina