Broken promises ~ JJ Maybank ~ Sequel to Promises

Chapter twenty-seven ~ "You Didn't Call Me"

We stood on our pier, JJ with a fishing rod in his hand and the rest of us scattered around. I sat on the edge with my legs dangling off and my right one bouncing up and down.

Jj: he deserved it right?

Ki: are you joking? Of course he deserved it.

P: never seen anyone blow themselves up like that.

JJ: cross that one of the bucket list.

Ki: Jj!

A moment of silence went by.

Jj: sucks for Sarah

K: no kidding her dad just killed himself in front of her.

I finally spoke up causing Jj to look at me, he silently did a face asking if I was okay and I nodded slightly.

I had now stood up and sat with John b who was laid down on the boat not saying a word.

K: are you okay?

I placed my hand on his back.

Jb: it's not me I'm worried about.

A little later Sarah came down to see John B so while they talked me, pope, Kiara and JJ went to the beach. I sat there for a while in silence as I thought about what happened. We really don't have great parents, none of us, well accept pope. Sarah's dads a murderer, John bs parents left, Kiaras kicked her out, JJ's abuse him, and mine... well mine kicked me out, abused me verbally my whole life and now I got a taste of JJ's home life. I didn't like it.

Ki: hey keeks, you good?

I nod as I play with the colourful bracelets on my wrist.

P: we really didn't pick the right parents.

Jj: you did, your living life.

P: fine you guys didn't.

Ki: hey me and keeks only got kicked out.

K: only?

Ki: well I just mean it's not like our parents disappearing, killing people and themselves, or hurting us.

That's when I finally look up. Hurting themselves. I mean she had the right to say it. I never told anyone, about the verbal or physical side of it. I didn't realise I had a tear fall down my cheek.

P: are you crying?

K: what!?

I touch my cheek and look at my wet fingers.

Jj: are you okay keeks?

K: I-... erm.

Ki: talk to us, what's going on?

K: nothing

P: I mean come on Kiara clearly hit a nerve talking about parents.

Ki: yeah we never talk about that stuff seriously, and you never cry. But now-

P: that's true you like never cry

Ki: that's exactly what I'm saying

My brain floods with thoughts as they talk to me, I can't do it. I used to tell them everything.

K: My mom hit me!

Suddenly all conversation came to a close and all eyes were now on me.

Jj: she what?

K: it was awhile ago, it really doesn't matter

Ki: yes it does matter, this is serious.

K: it's really nothing compared to other things.

Jj: that's what you've been keeping from me.

K: what?

Jj: you've been acting weird all day, I thought it was just about Ward but apparently not. Why didn't you tell me?

K: tell you! Really, how could I ever tell you this?

Jj: what? Maybe cause we tell each other everything.

K: this is the one thing I couldn't I tell you.

Jj: why?

K: cause that's always what it is, my stupid problems. I don't want it to be about my shit and I thought you'd think it's all about me again. Sarah's having problems, so is John b, big problems, okay? I wanna be there for them and forget about it.

Jj: you still could of told me.

K: how? How could I ever tell you that my mom kicked me out and hit me cause I told her i slept with a pogue. I couldn't tell you cause it's nothing compared to what you go through. I didn't want you to feel bad, you shouldn't feel bad. What you go through is horrible and so much worst. I hate seeing you at 3am showing up to my house with a new batch of cuts and bruises. I don't want you to see me like that. I was hurt and upset so I called pope and we smoked a blunt. That's it, all done, the pain went away and I was fine.

He paused.

Jj: you called pope?

K: yeah-

Jj: it's one thing not tell me, but to go to someone else. I have your back, I've always had your back. I've been there. I've picked up your shit I've dealt with your baggage. I've seen you show up at 3am in pain I've been there for you. God! You act as if it's some kind of trauma competition. As if there's a race between my abusive father and your psycho ex boyfriend. I was the one who picked you up as 3am when you found out it was all a bet, I was the one who didn't sleep each night incase you were hurting yourself or crying. I was the fucking one who dragged you out of that bath as you tried to kill yourself! I did that, me. Not John B, not Kiara, not Pope, you called me, and I was there for you. I was there because I wanted to be, but what now you think it's all to much cause I actually get it, your meant to call me. You were meant to call me, and you didn't.

As JJ spoke tears fell down his face as did mine. He was always there, I didn't want him to find out like this, I never meant for him to feel like this. I love Jj with all my heart, I was just scared to tell him.

K: I'm sorry

I whimpered.

Jj: sorry doesn't matter now.

He gave up and walked away. Shit, I didn't mean for this. I watched as he walked away, Kiara hugged me and all I did was stare as his figure fading.