My Sanity | Tokyo Revengers [Sano Manjiro x OC]

Chapter 29

Sakiko gently placed the bouquet of flowers before the grave of the Baji family. She then sat on the floor, tidying the offerings for him. Sakiko would come from time to time to his gravestone, especially when she needed to talk or confide in someone. To talk about things she could not talk about with the others. To talk about things she didn't want to talk about with the others.

"It's strange not having you here, you know," Sakiko said. "Sometimes, I forget about it and I tell myself I'm gonna see you later in the day. And then I remember what happened. But still, it feels unreal. I can't fathom the idea I will never see you again. Or hear your voice ever again. I just can't, it doesn't feel real. And then I come here, and I realize. You are gone,"

Sakiko brought her knees to her chest and place her chin on them. She observed for a moment the grave. It was so strange. She knew Baji was gone. And yet, it was as if he was still here. His mind still hadn't registered it. To her, he was there, but he wasn't. It was confusing. This darkness in her mind was getting bigger and scarier every day. It was getting bigger, thicker, stronger, unbreakable. It was darker than the abyss, not light at all. It was pure void. She was falling deeper and deeper, sinking in this dreadful see every day a little more. She couldn't swim to the surface. She felt drawn, pulled downward as if hands were dragging her to the point of no return. Her life was sucked out of her body a little bit more every day. But since Baji's death, she couldn't even feel it anymore.

"It's strange," she said, staring at the grave. "I feel so disconnected. There's this emptiness inside me that kept growing. I feel like I'm reaching the end of my journey. I haven't felt that for a while. A lot of things kept my mind away from it. You know Baji, I feel really tired. Every single day. Even more, since you left. It's like... Everything is bland, colorless, tasteless. I feel like I'm sinking... But I cannot tell that to Mikey. Or to nii-chan. Or to anyone else. They'll be worried. And I don't want them to be worried. So I'll keep it to myself. Besides, there are so many things to take care of. There's Hakkai, now the future...,"

Sakiko stared lifelessly at the grave. Her eyes were bland, colorless. Eyes were reflecting the soul. But her eyes were empty. Her whole being was empty, only contained the shadow of a girl. No energy was fueling her body. She was an empty shell with a wandering weak spirit. She felt like a ghost in a shell, trapped in her own body. She was drained, tired, as her mind wandered back to her conversation with Takemichi. He changed the future at least twice. He prevented her from dying once. And yet she was still dying on the next timeline. It seemed like the Grim Reaper was determined t bring her on the other side. It had been like that since the accident that took her parents like and gave her heart failure. Content back and forth between life and the realm in between.

"You know... I'll join you one day...," Sakiko breathed. "It's strange, I can't explain why, but I know my time has come... In the future, I'm dead. Takkun didn't tell me how. It might be from my heart failure. Or Kisaki killed me, who knows. But if I'm destined to die, I want to have done something of my life. I let you die, so for the remaining time that I have, I promise you I will protect everyone. Manjiro, Ken, Takashi, Emma, Chifuyu, Takemichi, everyone. As long as I shall live, no one will die. I promise. I've lost too much already,"

Sakiko moved closer to the graved and pressed her forehead against it. She prayed for Baji, for him to be in heaven, for him to be alright. She prayed for him to never be forgotten. She wished would have been different. But Fate was cruel. And life never goes as planned. The good ones always leave first. It was cruel and unfair. But only cruelty can survive in a cruel world. Though, Sakiko would not let that happen. She would protect her friends. She would protect them at all costs.

Sakiko stared one last time at the grave and left the cemetery. She headed back home. Satohiko was at work and Sumiko with her friends. So it would be just her. Maybe she could crash back at Mikey's? She had to cut their meeting short the last time. It would be the occasion to catch up. Besides, she didn't really want to be alone. She wanted to spend time with Mikey. It had been a month since they started dating, but with everything that happened, she felt like they had barely spent time together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Sakiko wanted to cuddle in his arm and rest her head on his chest, feeling his hair brushing against her face. Especially in this time of her life. She needed Mikey, or she felt like she would break down.