She Brung Me The Horizon

Chapter 7: I'm Low On Gas And You Need A Jacket

"Oli, hey, are you alright? You have been acting weird, like really weird." Lee says through the wooden barrier that I would like to call the bathroom door.

"I'm just fantastic," I mumble. I was sitting against the wall facing the door that loomed over me. I had stormed off from Autumn like a child who had gotten in an argument with their parent over something stupid.

Why did I even get upset by her kissing Jack? Why did it even matter to me?

God, why did I kiss her?

At least she didn't remember it so she wouldn't have to deal with it. I couldn't do this to her or ruin things for her despite of what I did or how I felt. How did I feel? Because honestly, I don't even know.

I sighed loudly.

I had to calm down and forget about it.

Distancing myself from her seemed like the only option that was good for everyone.

"Oliver, mate, let me in." Lee urges from beyond the door, he tried to turn the knob but the door was still locked.

I leaned forward and unlocked the door and Lee pushed the door open. He glanced down at me and looked worried. He let himself in and then shut the door behind him. He slid down the door onto the floor and sat across from me. It was so cramped with the two off us just sitting in there.

"Man, what's up with you? Did something happen with Hannah? Me and the guys have been worrying over you." He states looking me in the eyes, concern reflected in his.

I sucked in my breath and my body tensed heavily.

"I kissed Autumn." I admit uneasily, I practically blurted it. I looked down at my knees to distract myself from Lee's uncomfortable stare that was probably full on judgment.

Lee sat there but he didn't look all that surprised for some reason. "Oli, listen. I really don't think you need to beat yourself up over this. Autumn isn't taking that hard and you shouldn't either," he sighed and leaned forward, stretching his legs out, one bumping the toilet.

"Lee, that's because she doesn't know. She was drunk and she thinks she had a complete makeout session with Jack," I let out fiercely out in a hushed tone.

"But it wasn't Jack. It was me. I kissed her and I don't know, Lee. I just did it. I hate having guy talk with you but," I groaned out of embarrassment before speaking, "It felt right and that's what is making me so upset and she doesn't even know. I just keep screwing things up."

Lee gave me a complicated look and simply said, "Oli, it's up to you whether you tell her or not. I think that she has the right to know in my opinion. And so does Hannah, Hannah really should know, Oli. But how you handle this is up to you, okay? Just don't beat yourself up over this."

Lee hesitated but then added, "Oli you act differently with her," he met my eyes, "Like it's hard to explain but just overall your smiles are realer and brighter and your eyes seem brighter, too. Autumn is genuine and unique and she brings that out in the people around her." He paused and looked down at his lap for a second before adding, "Especially you."

My face got red a little and Lee said quickly, "God, we are doing guy talk," and slapped his palm to his forehead and threw his head back and shook his head letting out an embarrassed laugh.

His words sunk in deeply and I didn't know whether to be happy or not from his advice.

I nodded and laughed, "Yeah, you are right. Thanks, Lee. If it wasn't for you I'd probably never come out of here." I say standing up and outstretched my hand to help Lee up.