She Brung Me The Horizon

Chapter 11: Over And Over

It had been one week since Hannah had called me to explain that the picture she had posted with Travis, was one from a month ago at a promotion party for her parlor- proving that she actually truly, had been asleep.

It had been five days since we left California to travel to Arizona, then Colorado for two concerts there.

It had been two days since Autumn had at least uttered a word to me. The conversation between us was simple.

Me: "What do you want from the drive-thru?
Autumn: "I don't care."

That was the most I had gotten out of her. Or she'd give a casual nod to avoid further conversation or she would turn away from me and pay her attention somewhere else.

That night at the Dancing Devil had really changed Autumn and left her scattered; she was visibly blank. Lately, she'd wake up from either my bunk (she hated taking my bed from me so she'd take the couch, unless I'd beat her there; obviously not going to let her sleep on the couch. It is a very silent dispute between us, since she's not speaking to me.) or the couch and seem completely dazed. The expression on her face was chilling, like she had no idea who she was or where she was waking up at; as if the body she was waking up in didn't belong to her.

After awaking, Autumn would trudge to the shower or quietly wait for the person occupying the bathroom to be done.

Autumn would come out of the bathroom dressed in one of her new outfits that she had purchased-which was mainly crop tops, hoodies, or band tees to go with her jean shorts- and then she'd either find a place in the living room to make herself small or she'd abandon her dirty clothes at the end up the bus where the laundry was. Then Autumn would aimlessly find her way to my bunk and would crash there, distracting herself by messing around on the IPhone I had gotten her. Or she'd find herself riding shotgun at the front of the bus, with any driver. But me.

Autumn chatted with Jordan mainly, sometimes Lee. Autumn was visibly not in her state of mind because when she was spoken to, she seemed to let the words hang in the air instead of acknowledging them and replying with all smiles and genuine laughter like she did before.

I felt something twinge inside of me when I would look out of the corner of my eye to see Autumn exchanging words with Jordan. I felt the need to talk to her; and the need was great.

I still had yet to tell her about the night I kissed her. I had no justifiable reason behind the kissing since Hannah had cleared everything up last week over the phone. After she had explained herself and had gotten angry and rose her tone with me over the phone for being a, in her words, jealous twat; she gladly and cheerfully, had discussed what color she wanted the flower center pieces to be at our wedding, after being victorious from our stupid fight.

I didn't tell Hannah what had happened with Autumn when we spoke. I landed myself in a crappy predicament and the one person who needed, and who I wanted to tell about it, wasn't talking to me.

Instead she was, drinking and passing out drunk.

She was smoking cigarettes that she had asked for from Adri, in 'secret'.

She worst of all, didn't care what she did.

I cared too much.

When I first caught her smoking, she had been standing outside of our first show in Aurora, Colorado; nobody had taken account of her absence, that's how Autumn planned it.

I had ran out the back entry way of the building to go to the bus to retrieve a new shirt for Matt Kean, who had spilt his red drink down the front of his white tank top, while in the middle of trying to entertain Matt Nicholls.