She Brung Me The Horizon

Chapter 4: Don't Go

The next morning I wake up in my bunk under a blanket and I was startled to feel a body beside me. Pressed up against the wall lay a trembling girl that hugged her knees to her chest; she looked so small and fragile, if not already broken. It took me a moment to register why she was in my bunk and how she got there and if anything had happened, I mean we were both fully clothed but still. I rubbed my forehead and groaned and the events of last night came flowing back to me all at once.

After Autumn caved into my embrace we lingered by the door, she shattered in my arms with her face buried in my shoulder with my arms wrapped around her securely. My face was in her hair and I cooed, "It's going to be okay, I'm here," in her ear but that seemed to make her sob louder. Autumn didn't return the hug, she had her arms around herself tightly like she was trying to hold herself together. I didn't really understand why it upset her so much when her mother told her to ask her father for a ride home, then again I didn't know Autumn at all or her past. Maybe her father wasn't even alive.

I remember attempting to move us to the couch so she wouldn't collapse because by the looks of it, she was physically falling apart besides emotionally. I ended up lifting her up and carrying her small body in my arms all the way up to my bunk. Autumn didn't protest. I laid her down gently and she immediately shifted her body towards the wall so I wouldn't see her face. I suppose she didn't want me to see her cry. As I was about to leave her alone, Autumn reached out and grabbed my wrist, I felt how chill her touch was on my warm skin. I stared down at her and her dark brown watery eyes met my gaze and she pleaded with her voice cracking, "Please don't go, don't leave me." I felt something inside of me twinge at her words, something just snapped. You know how when you see someone else crying and see them breaking in front of you? How helpless you feel because you know you can't fix it? How the tears tug at your eyes even though you aren't the one in pain? That's what this was.

Autumn released my wrist and her gaze fell along with the tears in her blank eyes. I hesitantly laid down beside her on the bunk and she did not waste time to snuggle her body against mine as if she was freezing. After a few minutes, her shaking ceased and everything was silent besides the sound of our quiet breathing. We were so close together and she had her face peacefully resting on my shoulder, Autumn's eyes were shut and I could see her features perfectly on her tear streaked face. Autumn had a hand on my chest right above my heart. I watched as her breathing slowly evened out and the rise and fall of her chest slowed, and sleep quickly stole her away. Leaving me with my thoughts that were all about her. It hurt to see someone in such misery, her smile had been so real and happy yet she had broken so easily.

I shake the thoughts out of my head and glance back over at her body that remained trembling . I rose from the bunk and stretched my arms, it had been a tight fit in the bunk with Autumn there too so my muscles were sore from having to scrunch. I leaned over and covered Autumn's body with the blanket and she made a noise in her sleep and rolled over.

I decided to go into the bathroom to change into a pair of black sweatpants and tossed the clothes from last night into the hamper. I was too lazy to go find a shirt to wear so I chose to just go without. I made my way down to the small kitchen area to prepare a bowl of cereal for myself and then saw the guys piled on the couch, eyes intent on the television screen for the game they were playing.

"Kill me one more time, I dare you." Matt Kean threatens to Lee who was apparently ruining his kill streaks. Lee smirked, purposely going to do it again. Then I notice that two of the guys were missing.

"Where are Matt and Jordan?" I ask grabbing the box of cereal out of the cupboard and setting it on the counter. The bickering continued. None of them even heard me or noticed me because they were so into the game. I sighed and crossed the room over to the television and stood in front of it and waved my arms, attempting to get their attention. They protested and complained and tried to see past me.

"Fuck Oli, what? I was just about to ruin Matt's killstreak." Lee says exasperated gesturing to the screen. Lee paused the game with Matt glaring at him. I stepped closer to them and repeated my question. I honestly wondered if they had gotten drunk or something last night with all the free drinks from the venue and were passed out in their bunks.

"Driving the bus, mate. Jordan is navigating. Well, struggling to navigate." Matt replies, laughing at his own joke. He leaned past me to unpause the television to continue the game. I felt the realization hit my face and I cursed outloud and stormed back into the kitchen area to look out the window and saw woodsy scenery flash by as the bus sped on. I covered my eyes with my hands shaking my head, all I could think about is how I screwed up.

"Oli, what's wrong?" Curtis questions, they were all still sitting on the couch and they looked worried at my angered reaction.

I looked away so I wouldn't have to see their faces and then I announced, "There's a girl on the bus." I heard the gunshots from the game cease which meant they paused it and they all had their eyes planted on me. That's when Matt Kean interrupted the silence by laughing loudly and asking, "Did you get laid while we were at the bar?" and I shook my head and heard Curtis murmur, "What about Hannah?"

"It wasn't like that. I met a fan last night outside the tour bus and I let her inside to call her mom off my phone and she ended up-" I stopped short because I didn't know exactly how to explain it, "She ended up having a breakdown and it was really bad so I let her stay in my bunk and then I fell asleep too and so I never took her home." I explained the best I could, probably slurring a lot. The guys just stared at me and the silence engulfed us. I went and sat criss-cross on the floor in front of the couch and just waited for someone to speak up and say something.

"We can't just turn the bus around for some girl Oli, we have to get to the next venue within a few hours and turning around would completely jack up the schedule," Lee says thinking aloud, the others nodded along.

"We can't just dump her off somewhere to hitch a ride or find a grimy bus, she is like eighteen. I know we can't turn the bus around and I know I fucked up." I answer defensively.

"Why doesn't she just stay for the tour then? At least until we can find a way for her to go back home safely." Matt suggests in a honest voice. I didn't put thought into that and I didn't think they would agree with it since it'd be one girl living with all of us for a couple months. I was wrong.

Curtis nodded in agreement and said, "It wouldn't be that bad, I guess. She'd probably get annoyed with all the manliness, though," making us laugh and lightening the mood. Lee and Matt said they wouldn't have a problem with her touring with us and that Matt Nicholls and Jordan would be cool with it too. They were rather 'excited' to know that there would be one girl on the tour bus with us. Pervs.

"Will Hannah be alright with another girl on the bus with us?" Lee suddenly asked, the question taking me by surprise. I didn't even consider that. Since last night Hannah had kind of slipped away from my mind since I was helping Autumn and being there for her, making me feel guilty. I probably had a few missed texts and worried calls from her by now, but I knew she understood that I was tired from the shows. She probably assumed I had been sleeping when she called. That was partly true. I didn't honestly think that Hannah would be too jealous since Autumn was only around nineteen, there was nothing to be worried about.

"Of course it's all good," I say convincingly and giving them a double thumbs up and smiled, we all laughed. At that moment sleepy Autumn strolled out of the hallway rubbing her eyes and then stopped short when she saw me and all the guys staring back at her. Curtis smiled slighty and waved at her while Lee and Matt did the more straight-up approach and whistled at her wicked bedhead, being quite rowdy and loud. Her dark eyes widened and her face flushed before she ran back towards the bunks. "Autumn is the biggest fangirl I have ever seen," I murmur to myself smiling admiringly as the others laughter fills the bus.