Explain Yourself, Dear Universe: Book One

Shadow Work

Word of warning, shadow work isn't to be taken lightly. It can trigger unhealed trauma, challenging and complex thoughts as well as existential crises in some people. That said, it's also a life changing technique and tool that can be used for intense healing, growth and self discovery.  As a psychotherapist in training, you're in good hands, but I feel it's my duty to give you fair warning before proceeding. The shadow work prompts are designed to become progressively more 'heavy-duty' as you work down the list, though all are fairly challenging. If at any point you feel it's become too much – stop, process what you've already uncovered and then return when you feel emotionally equipped and stable to do so. Let's get started.

SO WHAT IS THE SHADOW SELF EXACTLY?
There are a LOT of layers to the shadow self, but in simple terms, the shadow self is everything that is not fully integrated with the conscious aspect of our ego or reality.
It houses everything you repressed and 'brushed off' during your childhood and early adulthood as a form of psychological protection in order to fit in, be loved or be accepted. In other words, you can view the shadow side of yourself as the irrational, wounded, instinctive child-like part of your personality, the part of you that can harbor anything from intense rage to profound inferiority.  In some way, your shadow self is like a wild animal in that it represents that side of us that we choose not to 'let loose' in society for fear of abandonment, judgement or criticism.  Here's where it gets interesting though. The shadow self is neither negative nor positive, though you may have read that the shadow self carries inherently negative traits (which kind of is AND isn't true). In some people, the shadow self is largely made up of repressed, rejected and least desirable qualities of themselves which is why it often gets a bad rap. In others (especially those suffering from low self esteem, low self confidence, impostor syndrome etc), the shadow side is a powerhouse of false beliefs internalized from past experiences and traumas that continues to dominate their waking life. In either case, confronting the shadow self face to face gives us an opportunity to identify and heal faulty beliefs, the wounded inner child and have many breakthrough moments that allow us to make progress in all areas of our life.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO DO SHADOW WORK?
Shadow work is the intensely personal, but deeply gratifying process of journeying within to meet the darkest, most repressed side of yourself. It requires compassion, kindness, patience and a need to let go of any assumptions or expectations – not to mention letting go of always being in control. Shadow work doesn't work when you're actively trying to hide and deny the feelings and thoughts that bubble up. You absolutely need to be comfortable with confronting the weirdest, most illogical, most terrifying, irrational parts of yourself – the parts of you that feel wounded and sad. The parts of you that feel anguish and despair. The parts of you that acknowledge you were treated unfairly and so want to scream about the injustice in the world. The parts of you that feel as though you're living a life of 'fakeness'. Shadow work attempts to dig deep to understand what thoughts, feelings, memories and emotional processes were buried in an attempt to protect and preserve the conscious part of your reality.  Anything that makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable is likely  a good place to start.  Fun fact: you can't heal what you aren't aware of.

BEFORE YOU START
Before you dive deep into these prompts, I want you to practice and uphold a self care practice. You might think you're fully capable of handling what arises from a 'few simple questions', but before you know it, your answer has affected you all day and you can't stop thinking about it. These moments will happen – it's normal. It's also normal to feel a sense of detachment with the world and those around you for a little while, at least until you've processed what came up for you. Give yourself some space to breathe. Shadow work will never be complete, it's something that follows you (just like your shadow) on the journey that is life. It can wait until you're ready to pick it up again.