A Court of Truths and Revival

Longing

AZRIEL

The peaceful calm that had settled over the yard was shattered by Cassian's drawn-out whine. "Give him back Ness. He's never going to learn to walk if you keep him wrapped in your arms."

Azriel cast a cautious glance toward his brother. It was too nice a day to test Nesta's temper.

"You only care for him to walk so he can learn how to fly," Nesta snapped back, holding Nyx closer to her as he grabbed for the strands hanging out from her bun.

That was the rule. No attempts at teaching the little Illyrian to fly until he'd successfully mastered walking.

"You can have one of your own to bicker over," Feyre said with a roll of her eyes before ducking back into Rhys's chest.

Azriel suspected she'd been dozing since sleep had been hard to come by since Nyx had been born. Not even ten minutes ago, a small, soft-spoken shadow had curled around his ear to report that the High Lady snored but her mate hid the sound with a blip of his magic.

Cassian perked up at the suggestion but Nesta just let out a hmmm. Azriel didn't think them ready for children though no one had ever asked his opinion on the matter and even if they had, he would have refrained from answering. A screaming babe would put a damper on their incessant fucking.

Rhys looked between Cassian and Nesta, likely gauging if he should intervene, but he wouldn't dare piss off Nesta. Rhys had taken to worshiping the ground Nesta walked on since Nyx's birth and if Feyre would have let him, he would have eradicated all memory of the Mother and had the world pray to Nesta instead. Azriel found it amusing, though it grated occasionally.

Out of the corner of his eye, Azriel noted how Elain watched on as well. Her brown eyes were soft, but she gave no indication of longing, content to nurture her seeds rather than grow something within her.

In some ways, Elain adjusted better than Nesta to unexpected immortality, but in others, she fell behind. Time and patience. And space. Like Azriel, she seemed to prefer bouts of solitude and since she didn't drink herself into stupors or spend Rhys's money on card games, everyone allowed her that space.

There should be more space between them now, but Rhys hadn't yet looked over and no talons tapped on Azriel's mental shield as a reminder of the unresolved argument between them. It had been more than a year since his brother had reprimanded him for nearly acting on his desire for Elain, and Azriel had simmered silently ever since.

Time and patience were perhaps better advice for himself. Elain had every piece and every move, but she'd done nothing about him or her forlorn mate. There were looks exchanged that left Azriel convinced she was a breath away from leaning into a kiss, Rhys and Lucien be damned, but she always remained occupied.

Gardening. Baking. Fluttering about with the wraith twins who'd become her closest companions. There was a quiet calm permanently surrounding her like a bubble. Even his shadows left him in peace when he got close enough to get a whiff of her floral scent. So sweet, his mouth watered until he had to angle his head in hopes of catching a fresh breeze.

Azriel begrudgingly turned away from her before the tightening of his pants became evident. As he did, a bold shadow landed on the shoulder furthest from Elain.

Looking for serenity? It said in a whisper that held a hint of laughter.

Azriel stiffened and the warmth of the sun turned cool. Some shadows were helpful, many were loyal, but some were cruel. Moving as little as possible, he tried to bat that taunting shadow away. Every so often, the peace he sought was ripped away by reminders of his failures.