Poetry

The Acting, The What If's, The I Don't Know's; I Don't Know

You act as if you

don't remember 

at all,

but maybe all along,

you did remember

and you still do. 

I just fell into your act,

again.

You act as if you care,

but do you really care?

Part of me wants to 

trust you,

but the rest of me

still remembers 

how you broke your

trust to me;

and I don't know 

if you know that.

You act if as everything's

alright, but what if,

what if everything's

not alright?

There could be something,

something wrong,

and you might know

and you might not know;

but would it even matter

if you did or did not?

I don't know,

I don't know anymore.

Maybe that feeling

of not knowing

will only last for today,

but what if it lasts forever?

I don't know,

I don't seem to know anymore. 

But what if I 

took off my mask,

removing parts of

my own skin

when the time comes?

I'm sure you would stop this

if you knew,

but then maybe you wouldn't. 

Would you? 

I don't know,

I don't think I know you. 

I don't know.

I once knew you,

but now I don't know

if I know you now;

but you don't see

my conflict,

you don't see my needs,

you don't see my questions;

you're too busy

wanting to fill your own needs,

you're too busy

to see past the lies

that I've gotten so well at

using and constructing;

you're too busy talking,

trying to change my mind

when all I think is no;

no, no, no.

The answer's no.

I don't know you anymore. 

~~~

A/N: I wish whenever I said I don't know, that I could say I don't know like that little boy did. With a smile instead of shame and a sometimes fear that people will get angry at me when I say or if I say, "I don't know."