"You really let him go?" I asked my dad, after he came back from his trip in the woods.
"Yeah." He muttered.
"You alright?"
"You think Rick did the right thing about savin' his life?" He suddenly asks.
"In a sense, yes. Carl wanted it, and I want to honour Carl as much as I can." I replied. "But then again, Maggie and a bunch of other people wanted him dead."
"Rick shoulda talked about it first." He muttered. "C'mon."
"Where do we go now?"
"Wherever you want."
"Home." I said. "Alexandria."
"That place even standing?" He grunted.
"Yes it is." I nudged him with a grin. "Everything will be back to normal."
"Whatever you say kid, I gotta go talk to Maggie." He gave me a quick hug. "I'll find ya'."
"Okay, I'm gonna go find Michonne."
In fact, I didn't find go find Michonne.
Instead I went to the back of Barrington House, and sat down where it was quiet. Quiet enough to think.
I had Carl's hat with me too, staring at the sheriff badge.
I had a little bit of time to spare, I had to go see Siddiq in the infirmary. He also knew about the..pregnancy, and he said he would kindly give me daily checkups until I fully made my decision. Which I hoped to make today.
I didn't want to hide it, I don't want to feel any pain or guilt or frustration because I have to bottle it up. But for now, me, Michonne and Siddiq only knew.
I stared at the hat, as if it was Carl himself. He said he would watch over me, maybe if I try..he might be listening.
"Hey..I hope you're listening, otherwise I'll look very damn stupid." I started off with a chuckled. "I don't know if you've heard, you probably would've if you're watching but... I'm pregnant." I sighed shakily before speaking again.
"I know we talked about it a few times, and how we would do it, when we would do it. But now..I don't know what to do, you're not here.. I-I don't.." My speach got slower and more shaky. "Is this selfish of me? Do you hate me?"
"If I didn't have such a messed-up life, would this be easier?" I sniffled and caught my breath. "I've been thinking about it alone, I've got mixed feelings and..I could really use your help."
"Is this right? Do I keep it? Should I not keep it? Just..give me a sign, Carl. No matter what, I'll never stop loving you. Maybe in another time, another world, I'll love you all over again in the ways we did before. I miss you."
I breathed slowly, wiping my eyes so no tears came out. I'm going to be strong, for Carl. I leaned my head back onto the wall, looking up at the clouds. Until I noticed something..
A cloud, that was shaped like a bird. Flying over me.
I chuckled and looked at the hat with a smile.
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Fanfiction❝I'm a Dixon, asshole.❞ ➷Lilia Dixon and her father discovers the horrors of what the new world is like. [season 7 - 9] •Carl Grimes x oc• •Daryl Dixon's Daughter• ©littledixonslight