Myriad- Daniel Seavey

15.

I awoke at midnight, and got up to get something to eat.
I stopped and looked in the mirror first.
My hair, which was beautifully curled, had completely come out.
My face was blotchy and tearstreaked, makeup had run down under my eyes.
I threw my hair up in a bun and walked out of our room.
The TV was on and playing Insidious.
My heart jumped as i remembered the day that Daniel and I watched it together.
I walked over and sat on one of the couches to watch what was left of the movie.
Daniel was asleep on the other couch.
His hair was completely messed up, and the part of his face near his eyes was all red.
I noticed that there was a part of the wall slightly dented, and that his knuckles were bloody.
Another tear rolled down my cheek, and another, and another.
I cried silently and turned back to Insidious.
When i turned back around, Daniel was awake.
The sight of him made my heart ache.
We didnt say anything, just watched the movie.
I got up and left the room before whispering, "Please know, that really, im sorry."
I headed to the kitchen and stared into the cupboard.
I reached for the bag of pretzels before shakily stopping myself.
My only thought was, "Youre too fat anyway."
i headed back to my room, where i layed back in bed and squeezed my eyes shut.
I remembered the feeling of Daniel's kisses, on my lips, my jaw, my neck.
I remembered his "I love you"s.
It all made me want to just go to sleep and never wake up.
I got it together and finally stopped crying and feeling sorry for myself.
I felt numb, like nothing would ever happen again.
I awoke the next morning to my phone flooding with text messages.
It was a group chat with all of our friends, the contestants.
Trevor told us what happened, all of them said, How are you guys?
'Quit being nosy' i wanted to type, but i knew i couldnt.
Daniel simply replied to the group, we broke up.
Those words stung me like a bee.
'Just leave me alone,' i typed and sent the message.
I walked out of my room to find Keri walking by.
She probably noticed what a train wreck i looked like, and pulled me into a hug.
"When i kissed Trevor, i really dont have any feelings toward him at all," My raspy voice stated.
"Daniel's just stubborn. He was a wreck too, dont worry." she tried to comfort me.
"Do you want breakfast?" she asked me.
i shook my head. I didnt feel like eating.
"Im gonna shower," i told her and she nodded before heading down to her room.
I grabbed some sweatpants and an plain black t shirt of Daniel's to wear. The shirt smelled just like him.
I pulled my hair out of its bun and turned on the hot water.
It flowed over me, comfortingly.
I scrubbed my hair two times before i was ready to escape the luxury of the shower.
I took off what remained of my makeup and brushed my teeth.
as i was walking back to my room, i noticed Daniel sitting at the counter.
His head was in his hands.
I took a deep breath before saying, "Daniel."
He ignored the fact that i was standing right there.
"I have a performance tonight," he said tightly and walked to his room.
My heart ached with grief as i cleaned up my room.
I knocked on Keri and Jeff's door.
They let me in, and i asked them in a small voice, "Are you guys mad at me?"
They exchanged a glance before Jeff said, "Are we sad about you and Daniel? yes. Are you mad at you? No."
i smiled weakly and said, "I miss him."
A moment passed before i added, "Can i see his performance tonight?"
"Of course you can," Keri said, and i thanked them before leaving their room.
I passed Daniel again and asked him softly, "What are you singing tonight?"
He turned away to walk back to his own room before saying, his voice breaking, "Straight up."
After shedding a few more tears back at (now my own) room, i decided to look at least decent.
i curled my hair again, and put on leggings and a cream colored top.
My face looked awful from all the crying.
My cheeks looked hollow, and my face looked pale and blotchy. My eyes were red and puffy, with dark circles underneath.
I ran to the bathroom to get a hot towel to cure the paleness and blotchiness of my skin.
I then applied concealer for my dark circles, powder, and waterproof mascara. Just in case the tears came again.
i looked okay, i guess.
Fans of Daniel's were commenting about us dating and shit, and honestly i was so done with the whole subject.
I was such a dipshit.
We drove to The House Of Blues, where the top 48 would perform.
The top 24 would be decided in a day.
Daniel wore nice clothes, and he looked amazing. Too bad i couldnt tell him anymore.
i sighed and mentally kicked myself for the umpteenth time.
We climbed in the car, and when Uptown Funk came on, there was no jamming out.
Just dull silence.
My heart ached again for Daniel.
A few months ago, i would have never thought that we would be dating.
Now look at me.
Hes driving me upside down.
We arrived at the House of Blues, and Daniel hugged his parents without giving me a second glance.
i blinked multiple times to keep the tears back.
The lump on my throat made it hard to swallow.
"I cant believe he doesnt care," i said to myself.
"Are you okay, honey?" Keri asked me and rubbed my back as she placed her arm around me.
"Im okay," i lied.
Performance after performance passed by, Jaq, Adanna, Lovey, Qaasim, and everyone else did really well!
Daniel was up.
i bit my lip and nervously waited for him to sing.
i said a silent prayer for him.
His mesmerising voice flowed out of the speakers.
i sang the whole song quietly with him,
"Lost in a dream, dont know which way to go."
His voice made me tingle.
But it wasnt mine anymore.
and it made my heart ache.