Without You (KanaMari)

Voices

The next day Kanan got up and got dressed in her swimsuit and cover-up and headed to the beach to meet up with the others. "Kanan-Chan, we're over here!" Ruby said, "Good Morning, everyone." Kanan said, yawning. "Kanan, are you okay?" You and Chika asked, "Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry, I didn't get much sleep last night." Kanan said, "Oh okay, well, as long as you're okay, it's fine, right." Chika said, "Yeah, as long as she doesn't overdo it, she'll be fine, but she's not practicing today." Dia said as Mari 2.0 walked up 'Look at how she's been replaced." The voice in Kanan's head said, "Not to mention you killed Mari. She's dead because of you. Mari hates you. She never loved you!" The voice in Kanan's head said, "I'm going to go for a walk." Kanan said, "Yeah, go murder!" Mari 2.0 yelled.

Kanan went to Mari's grave. "Mari, I have a hard time. I have to go back, but I need to spend some time with you alone." Kanan said, sitting next to Mari's grave. "You don't hate me, do you? I know you can't answer that, but I need a sign that you don't hate me..." Kanan said, "This morning, my grandfather was worried about me, then my mom called me, and she told me something that I really need you here for I don't think I'll survive. You always helped me through my emotions when I was sad or upset but now...." Kanan said, "I love you, and even if you hate me, I love you, Mari, and I always will." Kanan said, getting up. "I love you," Kanan said as she left and went back to the beach. "Chika Riko-Chan, let's go over the song, so I can make sure the formation is good," Kanan said as they went into Chika's room and sat down. "Kanan, are you sure this dance won't be too hard for you?" Chika asked, "I'll work through it, plus Mari's always with me. I'll work through the pain...." Kanan said, looking at the dance formation, "I know you can dance, but I don't think it's a good idea for your mental health....." Chika said, "I'll work through the pain I have to!" Kanan said, "Fine...." Chika said, "I agree with Chika. I don't think it's a good idea for you to do this dance....." Riko said, "I'll be fine." Kanan said.

It was the day of the Love Live prelims. Of course, Kanan didn't listen to anyone, not even after her breakdown during practice. "She'll be fine, right Dia-San?" Chika asked, "I hope so." Dia said as Kanan came out of the dressing room, "Aqours Sunshine!" They said as they performed without any problems after they got off stage, Kanan went to the dressing room and changed back into her regular clothes, and left with her stuff and went home. She locked every door made sure no one could get in. She also made sure her grandfather was home before she did that, and she went to her room and locked the door, and broke down in tears. "Mari, why did I have to lose you...." Kanan cried. This was the moment she broke.

"You're right. You are here with me," Kanan said. "Kanan-Chan? Are you okay?" Ruby asked, "Do we need to get you some help, Kanan?!" Chika asked worriedly. "Why wouldn't I be? I'm completely fine. I have the love of my life here with me." Kanan said, "It happened. You! I thought it wasn't going to happen...." Chika said as Dia unlocked the door. "Come on. I'm taking you to get help!" Dia said, "No, I'll be with Mari no matter what!" Kanan said, "We need to get her somewhere safe!!!!!" Chika said in a panic as Kanan bolted out of her room. "Kanan, come back!!!" Chika cried, running after Kanan in tears, and Kanan stopped and hugged Chika. "I'm sorry, I need to be with her....." Kanan said as she left and headed to the ocean "Kanan...." Chika said as tears streamed down her face as You hugged Chika and Dia left to go after Kanan. "Stop! Don't listen to the voices, Kanan.....Mari wouldn't want you to kill yourself for her. She wants you to have a life filled with love!" Dia said, "Mari's gone, and she's not coming back. My life is going to be filled with pain and suffering...." Kanan cried, "But you're right, Mari wouldn't want me doing this, and I can hurt Chika more than I already have....." Kanan said getting out of the water. "I'll live a life filled with pain and suffering, but Chika won't be sad, and that's one smile I love seeing..." Kanan said, "Are you sure?" Dia said, "Yeah, Mari is in my heart. I can always imagine what our life could be if she were here." Kanan said as Dia nodded as they went back to Kanan's house.

"Oh they're back!" Chika said, "I'm sorry, Chika." Kanan said, locking away how she was feeling. "Well, just don't ever do that again!" Chika said, "I won't. You guys got home. My grandfather is here. I'll be fine don't worry." Kanan said. "Okay, I bye!" Chika said as they left, except for Dia, she generally looked very concerned for Kanan. "I'll be fine Dia go." Kanan said, "But...." Dia said, "You have that important dinner with your family tonight. I'll be fine, I promise." Kanan said as Dia slowly left, closing the door. Once Kanan knew they were gone, she changed into her nightclothes then got in bed. "I'll see you in my dreams, Mari," Kanan said, closing her eyes but immediately opening them. "No...I don't want to see that again..." Kanan said as she grabbed a stuffed dolphin toy that Mari got her and hugged it tightly. "Mari...." Kanan cried as she cried herself to sleep.

Meanwhile, with Dia. "Onee-Chan, are you okay?" Ruby asked, "Yeah, I'm just worried about Kanan, but she promised me she'll be fine." Dia said, going up to her room to change for dinner.

Meanwhile, with Kanan, she had nightmares that she couldn't wake up from. She was trapped in the nightmare. She just kept tossing and turning and crying out Mari's name. Eventually, morning came, and she woke up in a panic. "Mari!!!!" Kanan screamed, breathing heavily as tears streamed down her face as her phone rang. It was Chika calling. Kanan wiped her tears and answered the phone. "Chika, you're up early." Kanan said, "I think we need to go to Tokyo." Chika said as everyone agreed, "Great, we'll be there soon." Chika said, "Oh, we're going today?" Kanan said, "Yeah, we are." Chika said as Kanan hung up, "What happened?" Chika asked, "That was Kanan having a panic attack...." Dia said, "Why?" Riko asked, "Last time we were in Tokyo, Mari was still alive....." Dia said, "Kanan must be having a hard time....." You said as they ended the call.

Chika called Kanan, and she answered. "Kanan, we decided if you don't want to go to Tokyo, you don't have to go." Chika said, "No, I'm fine to go." Kanan said, "It was the last trip you took with Mari-San I never considered how it would affect you." Chika said, "Dia told you, but I'm fine." Kanan said, "No, it's a unanimous decision. You aren't going." Chika said, hanging up before Kanan could protest. Kanan put her phone down as the door opened. "Onee-Chan?" Anna said, hugging Kanan. "Anna, can I be alone today?" Kanan asked, "Okay, Onee-Chan." Anna said, leaving and closing the door. "I got you a present, Mari. I know you're not here, but I got it for you. It just looked like something you'd wear...." Kanan said with tears in her eyes, "Happy birthday, Mari...I miss you." Kanan said, crying, "I just planned this whole thing for you, but you won't see it...." Kanan cried harder. She was completely heartbroken. "Kanan, it's me, Dia." Dia said, "Go away. I want to be alone today....." Kanan said as her voice cracked, "No, Mari wouldn't want you to be upset today." Dia said, "Go away!!!!!!" Kanan screamed in tears. "She's gone!!! All I want is to be with her again!!!!!!" Kanan cried, pulling the covers over her head. Dia texted everyone saying to cancel the Tokyo trip.

Three hours later, they all came, and Riko came back too. "Kanan...." Chika said, "I want to be alone. Go home." Kanan said as the door opened, "We aren't leaving!!!" You said, "I want to be alone today!" Kanan said as she was more heartbroken. "Mari...." Kanan cried, "Why did she have to leave...." Kanan cried, "Is this how she is every day?!" Chika asked worriedly. "No, she's like this on her birthday. It's really hard for her..." Dia said they decided to stay with Kanan for the rest of the day even though she wanted to be alone.