Indecipherable Looks

Chapter 4

Hope. Could she really give in to the feeling again? So many times had she hoped, only to have her heart broken again and again, until it was a broken fragment of what it once was. But still, lying in bed as she made-believe, she couldn't help but think of fanciful things. Her mind ran wild, and Maxi knew it was ridiculous. Every warning that presented itself was swiftly brushed away as the words repeated in her ears: I'd do anything you ask of me.

Did he really mean it? She opened her eyes, blinking in the early morning light as her excitement kept her from sleep. Maxi held desperately onto every word, every action he had made towards her, attempting to seal them into her memory.

She suddenly squealed in frustration, burying her head into her pillow. What if he didn't mean it? It could be that his words were a common saying from knights to any lady they happened to meet. What then? Was she doing all this thinking for nothing? It could also be that she was projected that sweetness onto him, and it was only in her mind...

But that feeling when they held hands just couldn't be constructed; not even by her. So she smiled and closed her eyes again, deciding to look back on yesterday with a positive light. After Ruth, as he told her to call him, finished his lengthy search of the library, Calypse actually helped him with some motivation on her part. At first she wasn't going to say anything, but the wizard was just struggling so much it was painful to watch and, well, maybe it was wrong of her, but she put his words to the test by asking him to help. Anyone would be surprised at how vehemently he had previously denied Ruth by the way he easily went to assist the man with just a simple query from her.

Why?

It hadn't even been a fully day yet since they really spoke to each other and her thoughts were filled with him. Maxi, get a grip. It's fine.

Though they had met before. She vaguely remembered some formal introduction years ago, but the memory wasn't clear as she had been, frankly, scared. Meeting new people was terrifying: in habit, she often thought of the ways someone could hurt her and how she could get away if needed, so often it was hard to focus on the names and faces. Still, she once remembered a vague familiarity in his onyx eyes. It was most likely déjà vu, though. It had to be...

There was a rapping on the door then, and she almost jumped in fear for Daphne before remembering she left him with Calypse the night before. She sheepishly explained that she wasn't allowed to have pets, and he frowned. For a moment she was scared he would ask her why, but instead he reassured her that he would take care of Daphne before finding him a better home. Her kitten was safe.

Putting a hand over her heart to steady it, she answered the door.

"C-come in." The nanny walked in with a tray of food before shutting the door, and Maxi got up to eat the cold porridge and drink some water while her hair was done. She was putting the first spoonful up to her lips when the woman spoke.

"Your father wants to see you immediately after you eat. Hurry up so I can make you presentable." Maxi stiffened.

Then she put the spoon down. It was better to be beaten on an empty stomach. Even though the serving was meager, she might throw up if she ate anything. Every fiber of her being filled with dread as the servant did her hair up into a high bun and dressed her, pulling the strings tight once again.

It made her chest ache, made the need to hyperventilate strong, but she just couldn't. Maxi had to suppress her emotions or everything would be much worse. She just had to repeat: I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, until it drowned out part of the apprehension as she walked, until she felt totally numb and cold, not even fully realizing her surroundings until she was in front of the office doors.

Maxi looked at the nanny. But the woman avoided her eyes and knocked on the door before walking away, leaving her to face the devil alone.

"Enter." His voice was dangerously calm, the sound sending chills up her spine. Maxi stumbled like a lamb into the lion's den, knowing there was no choice but to obey. She stood there, her back to the door unable to move.

It was early morning and the sun was shining; and yet, the curtains were drawn, and a dark shadow framed the Duke's ghastly face. A single candle burned on the desk, and next to it she see could see a chalice accompanied by an empty bottle of alcohol. He sat there, with eyes closed and a hand holding his aching head, breathing so slowly. If she didn't know better, Maxi would have thought he was asleep. But he wasn't. When his red eyes slowly creaked open, she could feel her fate being determined.

Looking away fast, Maxi breathed in and focused on not breaking down, even as those red eyes burned in her sight.

"Close the door." It was a simple command, but so hard to follow. She did it anyway, cursing her cowardly action as she slowly pushed it shut. The echo of the door closing nearly made her jump out of her skin as her father gestured for her to come closer.

From his body language she tried to predict how bad things would be, but he was so erratic in his behavior that it would be entirely impossible to tell how this would go. He wasn't drunk anymore, but he was aggravated from the hangover, which did not bode well for her. At times he would only slap her a bit before he was satiated, but there were too many instances where Maxi was beaten so hard she felt herself on the brink of death; that was; until the healer came, and she was only left with a vast emptiness inside her that she was sure could never be filled. The shame of being such a burden, but still, her pathetic need for survival even if she was to live such a pitiful lonely life as this; they both waged war in her mind. Even as she longed for escape and refuge, a part of her wondered if she did deserve the treatment. How could this happen if it wasn't at the very least justified? And always she thought, if being a stuttering, freckled girl was a terrible grievance, why had she been put upon this world? For what purpose?

"I tell you to be quiet as a mouse," He began as Maxi stared at the floor. "But you are skittering about like a dirty rat. Look at me!" He suddenly yelled, pounding at the desk, and Maxi forced her watery gaze to meet his.

"What's this I overhear from the servants of you and a man? Are you whoring around!" She felt her body freeze at the way he said it, like it was already a fact. He said it like there was no way she could deny his statement, while still demanding an answer.

"A rumor." She said quietly, looking straight into his eyes. Maxi thanked the heavens that she hadn't stuttered, and a small naïve part of her thought perhaps he would concede and let her go for not making a mistake, but he only became angrier, scowling and knocking the bottle from the desk in fury. She felt tears escaping as the sound of glass breaking reverberated through her ears, but as Maxi hurriedly went to wipe them away, the Duke harshly grabbed her wrist as he stood from across the desk, his rancid breath fanning her face while he shook her violently.

"Speak up! Do you think this is a game?" She shook her head, trying so hard to control her tongue as she prayed against his impatient nature.

"It's j-just a-a r-rumor."

He let go only to backhand her so hard Maxi stumbled backwards, narrowly stopping herself from falling as a groan left her mouth. But it was no matter, as The Duke quickly got up and took his cane from where it lay, before grasping a hand full of her hair and tugging Maxi to the ground before landing a hit on her stomach.

She rolled away from him, using one hand to hold her head and the other her belly as he continued his assault.

Some people were destined to farm and grow crops. Others became great scholars or wizards. The priests controlled the church and buried the dead. And great, valiant knights drew their swords and waged war for fame or fortune, or just the thrill and exhilaration of the fight.

Was it really her destiny to be a glorified punching bag? Was that it?

Her whole being cried: Sir Calypse, if you'll do anything I ask, won't you free me from this terrible situation? Won't you stay true to your word?

Her father finally stopped when she coughed up blood, unmoving with only pain consuming her weakened mind and body. Maxi wished she could get away as he bent down and spoke low in her ear.

"You're lucky I don't have much time today," It was true. There were knocks on the door. "Though you should know if any 'rumor' as you say is true, the punishment will be very severe."

Tasting the blood on her lips, Maxi knew his words were no mere threat. They were instead a foretelling.