All It Took

9.Jeff

Iris // The Goo Goo Dolls

I didn't sleep all night. I hid in my dorm room from 8pm on and paced. Matt never came home. He must have been with Hannah. Fine by me. I couldn't have pretended for shit in front of him.

I scoff thinking about it because the guy is so damn wrapped up in his woman, I don't think he would have noticed my meltdown.

And I melted down. Epically. I kept seeing the look on Declan's face in that garage. Psychotic. He was eerily calm. It was like something else had taken him over. I don't know what went down in that house but based on the blood and the dark look in his eye, it wasn't good. It was more than a fist fight. The fact that they kept mentioning Alison is what fucked with my head the most. I put aside my fear that I'd been unknowingly involved in criminal activities, that my car had been locked up in their garage with DNA all over it, that the two of them were unpredictable and my life very well could be in danger.

Fuck all of that in comparison to what might happen to Alison.

I went through every scenario in my head.

I could call the cops.

Nope. Not until I know how I might be implicated. And the fact that they'd have to do some kind of investigation before any arrests were made, which would give Declan way too much time to retaliate. And I have no doubt in my mind that he'd use that opportunity to his advantage.

I could call my dad. Get an attorney.

I rejected that one, too, because it seems like something a guilty person would do. Lawyer up. Rich white guy protecting himself and passing the buck. Who I am and where I come from is so fucking cliché I couldn't bring myself to pick up the phone and call my dad.

What if I went to talk to Coach...

What would he do? If there's criminal activity on his team, shit would go down on all sides. The university would get involved. Once again, an investigation. Retaliation. Maybe they'd look into me as a guilty party as well. Would it look like I was just covering my ass, shifting the blame?

And I can't count on him being an impartial, trustworthy authority figure simply because his daughter is involved. I already got the sense that he's a caveman when it comes to her. All those guys who never even took their shot with her because of him has got to mean something, right?

What if this ruins any chance I ever had with her? What if Coach steps between us? What if I end up in jail? Or the hospital.

Or dead.

Fuck. I feel trapped. I feel like the walls are closing in on me.

It's been more than twelve hours. I'm still in my dorm room freaking out. I need out of here, but I'm literally scared shitless that if I leave this room, I'm done. It's over for me. My brain is telling me that I have to figure this out. I have to have a plan before I return to the real world.

For the hundredth time I bend over, crouching into a ball and pulling my hair. How the hell did I get myself into this? I was just trying to pave a way for Alison and I to go public without fallout. And here I am dealing with the worst situation imaginable.

No. Not the worst. I freeze in place when I picture what could actually be the worst possible outcome. Something bad happening to Alison. And I don't know how to protect her from this. Declan is unhinged. Completely out of control. I saw it in his eyes. It was written all over his face. I wouldn't be surprised if he had some major shit hiding in his closet. Literally. He's got the bedside manners of a serial killer.

Fuck.

I haven't let my mind go to that place. The place where I accept the reality of what must have happened in that house. I don't understand the cause, or the background, but I'm pretty positive that Declan beat the shit out of someone.