In which an idiot meets another idiot
Or
In which Mista fights alongside his future wife
Mista x Fem!Reader
THIS IS DEFINITELY PART CRACKFIC
Disclaimer: I do not own the plot or the characters. I only own Y/n and certain plot points
Started: 03/12/2...
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Y/n's POV
I had been fixing Mista's hat. It was finally done
"Mista come look! I finished your hat!" I said holding it up. He screeched
"What the fuck did you do to it?! It was originally blue! Why is it purple now?!" He yelled. I laughed
"I'm just kidding, here's your hat" I said tossing him the real one. He analyzed it
"Wow, it's like it never got shot" Mista said. I grinned at my work. Did I actually knit it? Fuck no. I ordered it off of Amazon. We were all in the turtle. An 18-wheeler was unknowingly housing the turtle
"If we're not discovered, we should arrive in Venice tomorrow or the next day" Abbacchio said. The atmosphere was kinda dull
"What the heck? Everyone seems to be in a terrible mood" Narancia said
"I know" I said
"I wonder if Bruno said something harsh to Trish" Narancia said
"No. I think she's anxious because he hasn't said anything to her. She's very strong-willed, isn't she? She never complains" Giorno said
"Mista! Talk to Two and Three for me. Tell them to share their hamburger!" Five cried
"What are you talking about? We don't have any food here-" Mista was cut off as we all looked up. Three and Two were eating a hamburger
"Where did you get that? You couldn't have.." Mista trailed off. We looked up to see the guy staring at the turtle
"There's something under the seat" He said
"Oh no!" Mista said. The man picked the turtle up
"A turtle? There's something on its back. Looks like a gem" The man said. We all just stared at each other
"What now, Mista?" Five asked
"You're in trouble now" Three said
"A key?" The man asked. I looked at Mista. He then raised his arm and punched the man causing us all to shake since the car swerved
"What happened?" Bruno asked
"Mista, you were watching the ceiling. What happened?" Fugo asked. Mista feigned ignorance
"Huh? Me? I don't have a clue. It happened right when I looked away. What? Perhaps the truck stopped moving" Mista lied. I crossed my arms as I narrowed my eyes
"Why are you lying?" I asked. Mista's eyes went wide
"W-What are you talking about? I'm not lying. I would never lie" Mista lied
"Mhm" I said unconvinced. We got out of the turtle and realized that the car had crashed
"Bruh, what the fuck?" I asked
"It wasn't me" Mista said
"We should probably leave" Bruno said
"Yeah, I agree" Giorno said. So we escaped from the now wrecked car. We managed to make it to a dealership. We stood quite a bit away from the building. Bruno was inside the turtle with Trish
"It'll be faster if we just steal one" Narancia said
"Idiot. The word would spread in no time, and the enemy will hear about it. If that happens, we'll be ambushed" Fugo said. I nodded in agreement
"That's true" Mista said
"Fugo's got a point" Abbacchio said
"Well then, let's listen to what Bruno says" Narancia said. Suddenly we heard a crash. Giorno had his stand out
"The fuck are you doing to that poor car?" I asked looking at the wrecked car
"If we steal one, we'll be found immediately. But if we steal a hundred?" Giorno asked as he destroyed those beautiful cars. I almost started crying at the amount of money this man was destroying
"If there's more than one car missing, and they are scattered in pieces all over, then the search for the stolen cars would be harder, and we can have a little more time to get to Venice" Giorno said as the car parts turned into frogs. It was actually really smart
"I see" Narancia said
"That's better than hitchhiking" Mista said. Abbacchio sighed
"Well, that's fine" Abbacchio said. He approached Giorno, and then held out the turtle
"Giorno. You tell Bruno what's going on. Here. We'll go get a car" Abbacchio said handing Giorno the turtle before walking off. Fugo followed him. The rest of us followed as well. Giorno was with the turtle. We walked to the orange car
"This isn't a half bad car" I said
"I bet you and Mista could have make out sessions in here" Narancia said before making kissy faces
"In Mista's dreams" I said rolling my eyes playfully. Mista looked at me
"I mean.." He trailed off making it clear that I wasn't wrong
"Oh my God! No way! Shame! Shame!" Narancia laughed as he smacked Mista's shoulder.
"Damn" Fugo said. Mista got in the driver's seat and tried to start the car
"Personally, a car isn't my favorite place to make out" Abbacchio said
"That's because you prefer being in the bed with Bruno" I said. Mista, Narancia and Fugo's eyes widened as their jaws dropped. Abbacchio choked on his own spit as he was in complete disbelief
"You- I- um.. um.." Abbacchio could barely get out as his cheeks were now pink
"I really left you speechless, huh?" I asked. Abbacchio regained his composure
"Well, since you want to get everything out, we might as well be honest that you really love moa-" I cut off Abbacchio as Loverboy handed me a gun. The barrel of the gun was touching the bottom of Abbacchio's chin
"Ain't nobody gonna hear about that. You slimy little shit using Moody Blues fucking emo bitch ass titty mother fucker" I said. The three boys stared in horror
"I was just curious what you did during the day. My eyes will forever be scarred" He said
"What the hell are you two talking about?" Fugo asked
"Well, I was just curious on what this bitch did during the day, so I used Moody Blues just to see, and while we were all out on a mission, this bitch was screaming-" Abbacchio was cut off
"What did I say? Do you wanna die?" I asked
"Maybe I do" He said
"I- Do you need someone to talk to?" I asked as the gun was still pointed at him
"Hey look, Giorno's waving his hand. He's probably pressuring us since Bruno wants us to get a car soon" Narancia said
"I told you not to rush me!" Mista yelled as he continued to hot wire the car
"Anyways, listen guys, the new album just came out and I'm so excited to jam out to it" Narancia said
"Oh, God. Another month of blasting music" Fugo said
